I've been thinking about favor. The favor of God. Recently I read an article that said God's favor in our lives was for other's benefit and not ours. I agree with that but I also see favor as a synonym for blessing. For some reason I just like that word favor.
Lately it seems as if we have been enveloped with God's favor.
As we have been turning to embrace this time in our lives from the resentment we were holding on to I just feel God's love washing over us. I love the sunshine. To feel the heat warming my face. It recharges my batteries so to speak. We're three weeks into the winter term, well Chris is, and life is good. School is easier. We got away for the weekend. It's like we've come out of a terrible dark stormy time into a peaceful harbor. The winds are calm, the birds are singing, and we are rejoicing. Oh yeah, and the sun is definitely shining.
I'm not sure anything has changed. If school is different or easier than before. Not only has school not been overwhelming so far but we might get to do a Bible class together. When Chris suggested we both could do the class I was so caught off guard. I never would even have asked. In fact I was not thinking of going myself. I don't know how to explain my feeling right now. It's like I've been holding my breath under water for as long as I can remember and now some water has drained and I'm sucking in deep breaths of fresh air and feeling giddy inside with new possibilities.
Has anything concrete actually changed? Is school easier or is God's favor allowing us to breath under water? I know the answer. God is giving us rest. As surely as I know anything, I know this. I feel it in my bones. I stopped fighting the water. Into my lungs it came, rushing in to kill me. To take me out of the battle. But I surrendered the fight. What I thought was death was instead a river of peace.
Remember the non-Christmas version of the song from Love Actually? I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes, love is all around me, and so the feeling grows. That's me right now. That's the favor of God. It doesn't come free. Oh bits of it might here and there but those are teasers. You have to move to get it all. I had to embrace this time in life.
It's like it's all just a state of mind. But God does so much more than just change state of mind. He changes everything. He frees finances, loosens shackles of time. Kindles love anew and makes hope grow. He comes in response to prayer or faith in one specific area and moves in every area. He loves. The enemy gets fifty shades of grey but God gets every color, His love is vast.
I beg you to look for God's blessing. As I have looked for it I have found more. As I recognized it and thanked God for it then more appeared. It's not a prosperity gospel by any means. What it is is a God who gives generously to those who give themselves to Him. And as you give to Him, He is able to give of you to others. So then the favor of God really is not for me but for you. I can encourage you as I am encouraged. And love as loved and give as given and so on. All for the glory of God.
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Regrets?
I feel so full. Just finished reading "Wild". I'd watched the movie first and I'd say they are equal, although the movie is graphic in a way letters on a page simply cannot be. SPOILERS AHEAD! This woman, Cheryl Strayed, has done little remarkable in her life except to hike the Pacific Crest Trail (a monumental task), yet her story reaches in and touches something so deep and intimate within myself.
Well she did something else too. She wrote about it. She wrote about it and then a movie was made about it.
We've been told in many ways how love hurts. This young girl, young woman, experienced a love from her mother that shaped her, formed her. Left her full yet always able to receive more. This love never hurt her. But as her mom got sick, she began to hurt like never before. With her moms death now a part of history, her life began to unravel. She'd had it all. An amazing mom, a loving step-father, brother and sister both close. But now that all unraveled and her life flew off the rails.
As we often do when we hurt we seek to feel even more pain. To simply feel anything. So she hurt herself. With men, with drugs, eventually pushing away the husband who loved and adored her. Somehow I resonate so deeply with that desire to destroy myself. Why? Geez, who knows. Just part of my inner demons I guess. But what forever is ringing in my mind of her story is not the pain. It is at the end of the movie when she says she regrets nothing. Everything she did brought her to where she is now. Every piece was needed. No regrets! How would that change our lives if we had no regrets? I think that's worth a second. How would that change your life if you had no regrets? Think about it. Really think about it.
Have you ever imagined being able to go back in time? A time travel device of some sort allowing you to fix mistakes of the past. I do this. What if stopped myself from the disaster of my first marriage? Then my oldest son would not be. What if I had tried harder with that certain girl? Maybe just maybe we'd have made a life together. Then my kids and Chris would not be. Every positive change and every tragedy avoided would rob me of what I have now. I have yet to come up with any thing I'd be willing to change. When I begin to regret things I run through this time machine scenario once again and remind myself how good I have it. I have it good, beyond good. I have it great!
Well she did something else too. She wrote about it. She wrote about it and then a movie was made about it.
We've been told in many ways how love hurts. This young girl, young woman, experienced a love from her mother that shaped her, formed her. Left her full yet always able to receive more. This love never hurt her. But as her mom got sick, she began to hurt like never before. With her moms death now a part of history, her life began to unravel. She'd had it all. An amazing mom, a loving step-father, brother and sister both close. But now that all unraveled and her life flew off the rails.
As we often do when we hurt we seek to feel even more pain. To simply feel anything. So she hurt herself. With men, with drugs, eventually pushing away the husband who loved and adored her. Somehow I resonate so deeply with that desire to destroy myself. Why? Geez, who knows. Just part of my inner demons I guess. But what forever is ringing in my mind of her story is not the pain. It is at the end of the movie when she says she regrets nothing. Everything she did brought her to where she is now. Every piece was needed. No regrets! How would that change our lives if we had no regrets? I think that's worth a second. How would that change your life if you had no regrets? Think about it. Really think about it.
Have you ever imagined being able to go back in time? A time travel device of some sort allowing you to fix mistakes of the past. I do this. What if stopped myself from the disaster of my first marriage? Then my oldest son would not be. What if I had tried harder with that certain girl? Maybe just maybe we'd have made a life together. Then my kids and Chris would not be. Every positive change and every tragedy avoided would rob me of what I have now. I have yet to come up with any thing I'd be willing to change. When I begin to regret things I run through this time machine scenario once again and remind myself how good I have it. I have it good, beyond good. I have it great!
Friday, January 15, 2016
To be continued.......
For some time now a fire has been burning in my heart. A fire to see people healed. To witness exponential growth followed by exponential growth.
I have experienced church in a intimate, round the campfire with a guitar way, boxes of tissue empty as our souls become exposed. Fear pushed away as a new bravery takes hold. An intimacy with those around me that has left my soul aching for more. I have experienced this. God is preparing me to bring others to this kind of place.
I have long searched for a location. Kind of a silent dreaming of what might be. A few months ago, maybe more, the idea of using my shop as a meeting place became a prospect. God planted a seed I hadn't considered before. There are obstacles of course, some of which I have yet to overcome. So being the man of faith I am I simply told God; if you want this to happen you're gonna have to make it happen. You know that we have no ability financially to do these things.
So that was kinda my fleece. If God put into place the heat and insulation for the shop and needed repairs in the house bathroom then I would know for sure I was hearing God and not my own idea. Shortly after this someone I knew offered to pay for everything and help to get it done. Suffice to say I was not expecting so quick an answer from God. Of course it isn't that simple. The money he was getting fell through soon after. He is helping as he can though.
For those that don't know I collect old bmx bikes, mostly from the 80s. They hang in the rafters of the shop and a few elsewhere. Two of these are complete bikes I've had for maybe 17 or 18 years ish. They just hang out like time capsules of my formative years. When I sell a bike the money is sequestered away and used only for more bike stuff. Recently though I sold the 85 Hutch and bought six bundles of r21 insulation for the shop ceiling. I realized that I must be willing to sacrifice as well. God will do His part but I must do mine. About a month later the other bike sold. I had planned to do more insulating with this money, but.......as I sat listening to some missionaries speak God asked me to give that money. The question God asked was, do you trust me? Will you give this money away and trust that I will provide? I have not as of yet because Chris needed to understand why first. If I buy more bike parts no big deal, but if I donate the money that's kind of an out of left field kind of thing and explaining to her what I'm doing is part of the necessary good communication in our marriage as well as making her a part of what is happening. I'm working on my run on sentences but I still have to use one here or there. You're welcome. So we are almost caught up in the story, almost. I know God usually provides in a way that I can't see ahead. Something off the radar. I strained to see how He might do it this time. Two days after being asked to give this $275 up a person asked if I would list their small motorhome for sale online as they don't know how to and they would give me 15% of sale. I didn't need to be bribed to do this but whatever. Whether I get paid from this or not, it's more about God showing off. Like, here's your proof kid. Here's your fleece. Anyways, the listed price is $2000 and 15% is $300 so after negotiating with buyer it would be about the same as bike sale. God is really good at showing off.
Like I said in the title, this is to be continued. Writing this, putting this out in the public sphere, is a bigger leap of faith than the money. I don't normally tell people things until they are concrete. I also don't have a great track record of follow thru. Great at starting but after that not so much.
It's easy to know God is speaking and follow that in my own life. Or to say later, see, God spoke and I obeyed and look what happened. Or, I think God is leading me in that way. Whether or not a thing happens in my personal life there is no one but me to look close enough and ask did I really hear God and does the result show that? No one outside my family nucleus I should say. I have been afraid to share my dream because what will people say if it doesn't work out? If it doesn't happen? So now you know. Now you have permission and hopefully you will follow up. Or hopefully you won't have to. That the result will speak for itself.
I welcome you to pray for this. To pray for us. This is not an overnight thing. Much water will have passed under the bridge before the bridge is complete. Chris has a good chunk of school left and this is all consuming. There is much that needs to happen on many fronts. It will take time.
I am not a pastor. I have no post high school education in religious stuff or seminary training. I do have the education that God has given me through life. I will need to keep growing. I will need good people around me. I will need to focus on God first, keep myself well fed just as I need to right now. I don't plan to replace the church that anyone is attending. What I envision is a place of intimacy. A place where people can experience change, can find the spiritual growth that has eluded them so far. Let go and let God. I'd heard this much of my life but didn't know how it happened. This can be that place where people experience that. Maybe for the first time in their life.
Hopefully more facilitator than leader. Teach to fish rather than giving out fish. Then people should be able to take this and do it themselves. Anyways, that's what I see now and things never turn out as pictured so I guess we'll see what happens. Thanks for taking a peek in to my story.
I have experienced church in a intimate, round the campfire with a guitar way, boxes of tissue empty as our souls become exposed. Fear pushed away as a new bravery takes hold. An intimacy with those around me that has left my soul aching for more. I have experienced this. God is preparing me to bring others to this kind of place.
I have long searched for a location. Kind of a silent dreaming of what might be. A few months ago, maybe more, the idea of using my shop as a meeting place became a prospect. God planted a seed I hadn't considered before. There are obstacles of course, some of which I have yet to overcome. So being the man of faith I am I simply told God; if you want this to happen you're gonna have to make it happen. You know that we have no ability financially to do these things.
So that was kinda my fleece. If God put into place the heat and insulation for the shop and needed repairs in the house bathroom then I would know for sure I was hearing God and not my own idea. Shortly after this someone I knew offered to pay for everything and help to get it done. Suffice to say I was not expecting so quick an answer from God. Of course it isn't that simple. The money he was getting fell through soon after. He is helping as he can though.
For those that don't know I collect old bmx bikes, mostly from the 80s. They hang in the rafters of the shop and a few elsewhere. Two of these are complete bikes I've had for maybe 17 or 18 years ish. They just hang out like time capsules of my formative years. When I sell a bike the money is sequestered away and used only for more bike stuff. Recently though I sold the 85 Hutch and bought six bundles of r21 insulation for the shop ceiling. I realized that I must be willing to sacrifice as well. God will do His part but I must do mine. About a month later the other bike sold. I had planned to do more insulating with this money, but.......as I sat listening to some missionaries speak God asked me to give that money. The question God asked was, do you trust me? Will you give this money away and trust that I will provide? I have not as of yet because Chris needed to understand why first. If I buy more bike parts no big deal, but if I donate the money that's kind of an out of left field kind of thing and explaining to her what I'm doing is part of the necessary good communication in our marriage as well as making her a part of what is happening. I'm working on my run on sentences but I still have to use one here or there. You're welcome. So we are almost caught up in the story, almost. I know God usually provides in a way that I can't see ahead. Something off the radar. I strained to see how He might do it this time. Two days after being asked to give this $275 up a person asked if I would list their small motorhome for sale online as they don't know how to and they would give me 15% of sale. I didn't need to be bribed to do this but whatever. Whether I get paid from this or not, it's more about God showing off. Like, here's your proof kid. Here's your fleece. Anyways, the listed price is $2000 and 15% is $300 so after negotiating with buyer it would be about the same as bike sale. God is really good at showing off.
Like I said in the title, this is to be continued. Writing this, putting this out in the public sphere, is a bigger leap of faith than the money. I don't normally tell people things until they are concrete. I also don't have a great track record of follow thru. Great at starting but after that not so much.
It's easy to know God is speaking and follow that in my own life. Or to say later, see, God spoke and I obeyed and look what happened. Or, I think God is leading me in that way. Whether or not a thing happens in my personal life there is no one but me to look close enough and ask did I really hear God and does the result show that? No one outside my family nucleus I should say. I have been afraid to share my dream because what will people say if it doesn't work out? If it doesn't happen? So now you know. Now you have permission and hopefully you will follow up. Or hopefully you won't have to. That the result will speak for itself.
I welcome you to pray for this. To pray for us. This is not an overnight thing. Much water will have passed under the bridge before the bridge is complete. Chris has a good chunk of school left and this is all consuming. There is much that needs to happen on many fronts. It will take time.
I am not a pastor. I have no post high school education in religious stuff or seminary training. I do have the education that God has given me through life. I will need to keep growing. I will need good people around me. I will need to focus on God first, keep myself well fed just as I need to right now. I don't plan to replace the church that anyone is attending. What I envision is a place of intimacy. A place where people can experience change, can find the spiritual growth that has eluded them so far. Let go and let God. I'd heard this much of my life but didn't know how it happened. This can be that place where people experience that. Maybe for the first time in their life.
Hopefully more facilitator than leader. Teach to fish rather than giving out fish. Then people should be able to take this and do it themselves. Anyways, that's what I see now and things never turn out as pictured so I guess we'll see what happens. Thanks for taking a peek in to my story.
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
Stories.......dad
Born in the early 50s and I think always a wandering soul. If we're talking tools he could work with wood but being a father or husband not so much. Demons he has plenty, more than his share. That fine line between sanity and despair he walks day and night. The unauthorized biographical highlights of the man I knew all too well but not at all. My dad.
There's marriages and divorces, heartache and betrayal, successes and failures too many.
I have a speaker box we built together. The front is a carved cabinet door with fabric covered sides covering the speakers. The carved spots painted black then surfaces sanded and stained. I remember the 4'x8' slot car track and 70s painted bike as Christmas gifts before I was 7.
My parents met, had me in Salem, moved to Cali and had my brother, lived in a religious hippy commune, got involved in a large church, went to Nepal on missions, not necessarily all in that order, then back to Salem at 7yrs old.
My parents had a rough time. We lived in poverty for sure. There was never a time where they both worked at once. He was a scrapper. Hauled many cars to scrap that make me cry today. 55 Chevys and such. My uncle taught him the tree trimming business. Not many trees in So. Cal so moving to Oregon seemed like a sure fire deal. Like most things it wasn't what it seemed. Somewhere early he went to school to learn the eyeglass business. Something he would hate doing and coincidentally was gifted as such.
The tree business paid a few bills but never went anywhere. Eyeglass jobs came and went. One skill he never learned was working for others. He opened his own eyeglass business and did very well, eventually cajoling the bank to give him a quarter mil. loan to buy more equipment to grind and finish lenses on sight. He even patented a lens and seemed to finally be getting his due but it would not last. His lead technician diagnosed with a brain tumor or cancer or something about the same time two others decided to venture out with their own business. It became unsustainable and bankruptcy followed.
Another venture making table top waterfall plant sculptures never became profitable. A good job at a regional health clinic would last a number of years but his demons or something else deep inside caused another downfall and lost job.
In his early 40s he had a pretty good stroke. Probably younger than I am now. He got little medical attention and had a very long recovery. After his third divorce he came to live with us for a couple of weeks while he finished his Jeep. He had a trailer in the back yard and almost half of the shop and it was good for a while but there just wasn't enough space between he and I. A year and a half later he and his Jeep left.
I think at about this time he felt like his stay as part of the family had been overstayed. We had a family meeting in my house. My brother and wife were there. He wanted to move to sunny places in Arizona or somewhere and leave his past behind. Leave us behind. Somewhere inside he knew he didn't cut it as a father or a husband and he wanted to run from all his failings, as he saw it. This is my take of course. We all cried. He never left. But he left. Salem remained his home but we had no contact with him. We lost him still.
I recently found out that a few years ago he was hit by a car. Many months in a coma and his body broken from top to bottom. The doctors pieced him back together with pins holding much of him together. At roughly 60 how much healing can a body do?
The man I knew is gone. If I saw him would I recognize him? Is he even still alive? I think he is. I wanna believe I would sense it if he were gone.
I carry many of his same demons. I don't carry a coffee cup with alcohol in it every where I go and I haven't left my family. But I have wanted to. I have been hurt and I have been broken and wanted to relieve my family of my burden. Give them a chance for success. I know these are lies. I hold on to truth even if it doesn't seem true or real. I just hold on. I wonder why have I been spared and he wasn't. The answer to this question will probably never come.
God says he punishes the children to the third or fourth generation for the sins of the father. I know that sound harsh and unloving. I have a hard time with God punishing future generations for past sins. I am though paying for some of my dads stuff. And some of his dads stuff. And so on. It is simply fact. His dad took his damage and demons and raised him with that so he took the tools he was given both good and bad and passed those to me. The good news is that much of that bad stuff has been stopped. Grace is prevailing. We are giving it to God and He has washed it in the blood.
I will see you around dad.
There's marriages and divorces, heartache and betrayal, successes and failures too many.
I have a speaker box we built together. The front is a carved cabinet door with fabric covered sides covering the speakers. The carved spots painted black then surfaces sanded and stained. I remember the 4'x8' slot car track and 70s painted bike as Christmas gifts before I was 7.
My parents met, had me in Salem, moved to Cali and had my brother, lived in a religious hippy commune, got involved in a large church, went to Nepal on missions, not necessarily all in that order, then back to Salem at 7yrs old.
My parents had a rough time. We lived in poverty for sure. There was never a time where they both worked at once. He was a scrapper. Hauled many cars to scrap that make me cry today. 55 Chevys and such. My uncle taught him the tree trimming business. Not many trees in So. Cal so moving to Oregon seemed like a sure fire deal. Like most things it wasn't what it seemed. Somewhere early he went to school to learn the eyeglass business. Something he would hate doing and coincidentally was gifted as such.
The tree business paid a few bills but never went anywhere. Eyeglass jobs came and went. One skill he never learned was working for others. He opened his own eyeglass business and did very well, eventually cajoling the bank to give him a quarter mil. loan to buy more equipment to grind and finish lenses on sight. He even patented a lens and seemed to finally be getting his due but it would not last. His lead technician diagnosed with a brain tumor or cancer or something about the same time two others decided to venture out with their own business. It became unsustainable and bankruptcy followed.
Another venture making table top waterfall plant sculptures never became profitable. A good job at a regional health clinic would last a number of years but his demons or something else deep inside caused another downfall and lost job.
In his early 40s he had a pretty good stroke. Probably younger than I am now. He got little medical attention and had a very long recovery. After his third divorce he came to live with us for a couple of weeks while he finished his Jeep. He had a trailer in the back yard and almost half of the shop and it was good for a while but there just wasn't enough space between he and I. A year and a half later he and his Jeep left.
I think at about this time he felt like his stay as part of the family had been overstayed. We had a family meeting in my house. My brother and wife were there. He wanted to move to sunny places in Arizona or somewhere and leave his past behind. Leave us behind. Somewhere inside he knew he didn't cut it as a father or a husband and he wanted to run from all his failings, as he saw it. This is my take of course. We all cried. He never left. But he left. Salem remained his home but we had no contact with him. We lost him still.
I recently found out that a few years ago he was hit by a car. Many months in a coma and his body broken from top to bottom. The doctors pieced him back together with pins holding much of him together. At roughly 60 how much healing can a body do?
The man I knew is gone. If I saw him would I recognize him? Is he even still alive? I think he is. I wanna believe I would sense it if he were gone.
I carry many of his same demons. I don't carry a coffee cup with alcohol in it every where I go and I haven't left my family. But I have wanted to. I have been hurt and I have been broken and wanted to relieve my family of my burden. Give them a chance for success. I know these are lies. I hold on to truth even if it doesn't seem true or real. I just hold on. I wonder why have I been spared and he wasn't. The answer to this question will probably never come.
God says he punishes the children to the third or fourth generation for the sins of the father. I know that sound harsh and unloving. I have a hard time with God punishing future generations for past sins. I am though paying for some of my dads stuff. And some of his dads stuff. And so on. It is simply fact. His dad took his damage and demons and raised him with that so he took the tools he was given both good and bad and passed those to me. The good news is that much of that bad stuff has been stopped. Grace is prevailing. We are giving it to God and He has washed it in the blood.
I will see you around dad.
Monday, January 11, 2016
Some thoughts before bedtime
Just sittin' here itching my feet before bed thinking about stuff. Watched a cop drama where they tried to talk a guy down and eventually he forced them to kill him. I wonder, if instead of all the promises that things will get better and I'll be here for you after this, what if we talked real truth? The second your life ends you will meet God. The Big Guy. The creator of all. Are you ready for that? Cuz that's where this is going. I wonder stuff like that.
I have written before about my wife's schooling. How she is so busy that family time is rare. The things I feel so strongly are God's most important things for His people we have had to minimize to make this happen. Time and again I have questioned how this can be God's plan. I've come to a sort of stalemate on that question because time keeps passing and we're still doing this. This is what I see now. Whether this is God's most desired place or not for us, we are here, and what will I do while in this place? Will I spend my time questioning God or will I spend my time serving God? Serving God in this place is serving people. I suppose it is in all places of life. So I am deciding to serve others. God gave me a word recently. Feed my sheep. It rings in my ears every day now. Feed my sheep. I am doing my best. Well maybe not my best but I am moving. I am trying.
God is revealing the depths of a personal struggle. He is showing me how deep this really is and I am beginning to see how desperately healing needs to come. How this area needs His touch before certain doors of ministry can be opened.
God is showing me that there are few absolutes in this world. When I was 28 my instructor told us that every car fuel system had to have a return line to fuel tank. It could work no other way. I went to work that night and the Dodge Neon I worked on had no fuel return. Had I been younger and less experienced at life this could have crushed me. What he spoke was gospel, had to be gospel, because what I got from the four instructors was my foundation for the future. We do this every day to believers. I guess to non believers too. We tell them God can only do it a certain way. When He does it different they become disillusioned and unsure of their belief. There is talk of Muslims coming to know God through dreams. Many are saying this cannot be. God does not work this way. Yet here they are. Muslim Christians. God had never blinded a man mid journey and changed his life until Saul/Paul. Is it only possible if it is written in the Bible? Stand on grace, stand on law, stand on free will or predestination. Baptist, Catholic, Pentacostal, First Free Whatever. Well I wont go in a church building. How can you be saved without going to church? This is just the tip of the iceberg. You know what I'm talking about. There are few absolutes given by God. Everyone would be better if we stuck to those. Lived or died by those. There is one true God, He is love. He is omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient. Jesus is the only way to God. These are foundational truths.
While there is much talk of the church being good or bad these days. The signs of a healthy church, there is much less talk about the danger of culture defining our religion. As Christians we should be the most upright, honest, trustworthy people on the planet yet much of our moral compass is defined by culture. Here's a couple. A missionary was teaching in a third world country (I know, old school term) and was giving a test to young students. About first grade I think. A young boy was concerned about taking the test and he told the boy if there was any he didn't know to just guess. The boy, shocked, said I can't do that. Why not? What if I were to get some right was the reply. Then I would get credit for something I didn't know. I would get a higher score than I earned. That would not be right. I have done tests this way all my life so it took me a bit to wrap my head around what this boy had said. He's right. It is cheating. Another one. A woman bought a cookie recipe from a store thinking it was 2.50 but actually paid 250.00. Found out when her card statement came. She called store and tried to get money back with no luck. Now she is passing recipe out on internet. I found out when my Christian friend posted story with recipe on Facebook. The only way a person should have this recipe is by paying $250 for it. Culturally this is perfectly acceptable but it still is wrong. We "Christians" should have a higher standard. Jesus while hanging on the cross with his life draining away forgave those who had killed Him. Certainly this applies to more of my life than just if someone crucified me. Turn the other cheek. Do not repay evil for evil. Do not take what does not belong to you. How can we separate our lifestyle as royalty to the King from our lifestyle as subjects of our earthly kingdom? The kingdom above should certainly supercede this one below.
I have written before about my wife's schooling. How she is so busy that family time is rare. The things I feel so strongly are God's most important things for His people we have had to minimize to make this happen. Time and again I have questioned how this can be God's plan. I've come to a sort of stalemate on that question because time keeps passing and we're still doing this. This is what I see now. Whether this is God's most desired place or not for us, we are here, and what will I do while in this place? Will I spend my time questioning God or will I spend my time serving God? Serving God in this place is serving people. I suppose it is in all places of life. So I am deciding to serve others. God gave me a word recently. Feed my sheep. It rings in my ears every day now. Feed my sheep. I am doing my best. Well maybe not my best but I am moving. I am trying.
God is revealing the depths of a personal struggle. He is showing me how deep this really is and I am beginning to see how desperately healing needs to come. How this area needs His touch before certain doors of ministry can be opened.
God is showing me that there are few absolutes in this world. When I was 28 my instructor told us that every car fuel system had to have a return line to fuel tank. It could work no other way. I went to work that night and the Dodge Neon I worked on had no fuel return. Had I been younger and less experienced at life this could have crushed me. What he spoke was gospel, had to be gospel, because what I got from the four instructors was my foundation for the future. We do this every day to believers. I guess to non believers too. We tell them God can only do it a certain way. When He does it different they become disillusioned and unsure of their belief. There is talk of Muslims coming to know God through dreams. Many are saying this cannot be. God does not work this way. Yet here they are. Muslim Christians. God had never blinded a man mid journey and changed his life until Saul/Paul. Is it only possible if it is written in the Bible? Stand on grace, stand on law, stand on free will or predestination. Baptist, Catholic, Pentacostal, First Free Whatever. Well I wont go in a church building. How can you be saved without going to church? This is just the tip of the iceberg. You know what I'm talking about. There are few absolutes given by God. Everyone would be better if we stuck to those. Lived or died by those. There is one true God, He is love. He is omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient. Jesus is the only way to God. These are foundational truths.
While there is much talk of the church being good or bad these days. The signs of a healthy church, there is much less talk about the danger of culture defining our religion. As Christians we should be the most upright, honest, trustworthy people on the planet yet much of our moral compass is defined by culture. Here's a couple. A missionary was teaching in a third world country (I know, old school term) and was giving a test to young students. About first grade I think. A young boy was concerned about taking the test and he told the boy if there was any he didn't know to just guess. The boy, shocked, said I can't do that. Why not? What if I were to get some right was the reply. Then I would get credit for something I didn't know. I would get a higher score than I earned. That would not be right. I have done tests this way all my life so it took me a bit to wrap my head around what this boy had said. He's right. It is cheating. Another one. A woman bought a cookie recipe from a store thinking it was 2.50 but actually paid 250.00. Found out when her card statement came. She called store and tried to get money back with no luck. Now she is passing recipe out on internet. I found out when my Christian friend posted story with recipe on Facebook. The only way a person should have this recipe is by paying $250 for it. Culturally this is perfectly acceptable but it still is wrong. We "Christians" should have a higher standard. Jesus while hanging on the cross with his life draining away forgave those who had killed Him. Certainly this applies to more of my life than just if someone crucified me. Turn the other cheek. Do not repay evil for evil. Do not take what does not belong to you. How can we separate our lifestyle as royalty to the King from our lifestyle as subjects of our earthly kingdom? The kingdom above should certainly supercede this one below.
Friday, January 1, 2016
God is a gracious giver
The scripture says something like praise and thanks be to God, the giver of all good things. When I think about God's gifts, spiritual things come to mind. He gave some to be prophets and that kind of thing. Gifts of the spirit. But I think it's much more than that. He also meets our needs. Scripture says what kind of a father if his son asks for bread would give hime a stone? How much more your heavenly Father will do for you. So He meets our needs too. This is where I think we start to lose it. We have a shallow understanding of what we need.
A couple of months ago I was very sick. As I was coming to the end of it I picked up my phone and scanned Craigslist for bmx bikes. I found a screaming deal. Now you might be thinking, what in the world does this have to do with God giving gifts? Everything would be the answer. I love bmx bikes. I have since I was a kid. A month ago I found a 85 Gt bmx for $75. In its listed condition it was worth about $250. I firmly believe these are gifts from God.
Some of my friends collect heart shaped rocks. When they find one they feel God saying I love you. John Eldridge tells a story of being out in the woods with a buddy and finding half of a large rack. I don't remember if it was deer or elk or what but it had been a long time dream of his to find one. I don't remember the circumstances but his friend ended up keeping it. Maybe the friend found it first, I'm not sure, but his treasure was right in front of him and he let someone else have it. As they got back almost to the truck he found the other half. He knew this was a gift from his Heavenly Father.
As I have become more aware of how God shows His love for me I am more able to see it. God is a lavish giver. He gives me gifts all the time. Last night I was working on a 21 rose arrangement for my wife and I's 21st anniversary and I needed a special vase that would allow me to organize them in a way that they would be easily countable. My first fabrication idea just wasn't going to work and the store had been a bust. Limited funds and all. I headed into the shop attic to see what I might find. I was just about to give up when an old rack of 24 glass Coke bottles caught my eye. It turned out awesome. God knew what I needed.
Somewhere along the line we got the idea that there is a spiritual side and a worldly side to life. That things have to be one or the other. I don't believe this is so. Maybe this is why I always saw eternal life, the good news, as starting after death.
How much of this life do you see as spiritual? How often do you recognize gifts from God? You may not agree with my convictions that all of life is spiritual, but I guarantee that God is more involved, more concerned with your life, than you believe. The truth is out there, claimed the X-Files. When we meet our creator I think we will be dismayed by how little we understood and how much God had for us that we never received.
A couple of months ago I was very sick. As I was coming to the end of it I picked up my phone and scanned Craigslist for bmx bikes. I found a screaming deal. Now you might be thinking, what in the world does this have to do with God giving gifts? Everything would be the answer. I love bmx bikes. I have since I was a kid. A month ago I found a 85 Gt bmx for $75. In its listed condition it was worth about $250. I firmly believe these are gifts from God.
Some of my friends collect heart shaped rocks. When they find one they feel God saying I love you. John Eldridge tells a story of being out in the woods with a buddy and finding half of a large rack. I don't remember if it was deer or elk or what but it had been a long time dream of his to find one. I don't remember the circumstances but his friend ended up keeping it. Maybe the friend found it first, I'm not sure, but his treasure was right in front of him and he let someone else have it. As they got back almost to the truck he found the other half. He knew this was a gift from his Heavenly Father.
As I have become more aware of how God shows His love for me I am more able to see it. God is a lavish giver. He gives me gifts all the time. Last night I was working on a 21 rose arrangement for my wife and I's 21st anniversary and I needed a special vase that would allow me to organize them in a way that they would be easily countable. My first fabrication idea just wasn't going to work and the store had been a bust. Limited funds and all. I headed into the shop attic to see what I might find. I was just about to give up when an old rack of 24 glass Coke bottles caught my eye. It turned out awesome. God knew what I needed.
Somewhere along the line we got the idea that there is a spiritual side and a worldly side to life. That things have to be one or the other. I don't believe this is so. Maybe this is why I always saw eternal life, the good news, as starting after death.
How much of this life do you see as spiritual? How often do you recognize gifts from God? You may not agree with my convictions that all of life is spiritual, but I guarantee that God is more involved, more concerned with your life, than you believe. The truth is out there, claimed the X-Files. When we meet our creator I think we will be dismayed by how little we understood and how much God had for us that we never received.
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