Obeying God????

Saturday night Chris and i went to Red Robin for dinner.  This weekend was supposed to be a winter retreat for the youth group so we had places for the kids to be and then that got changed to the snow day on Sunday so we did the snow day and some personal time.  How's that for a run on sentence?  So, we ended up at Red Robin waiting to get seated and they called Chris, party of 2.  Then immediately someone else party of 4.  So this couple gets up and goes and Chris gets up and goes.  When we got to our table there was 2 sets of color crayons along with our menus so i think we stole the party of 4 table.  Oops.  After sitting there for a while and eating most of our dinner, a young couple sat down a couple tables from us.  The girl had her back to me but the guy was a pimply faced maybe 16 yr old kid.  As i kept watching them i felt God telling me to give them $20.  What a strange thing.  That was something i might just do, but why would God want me to do it?  So i decided i would ask them if they were on a date and if they said yes then drop $20 on the table and wish them a good evening.  Don't know what i would have done if they'd said no.  Haha.  The longer i thought about doing it the harder it got.  Then i told Chris and she was very supportive and even offered to do it if i was too chicken.  I knew God had told me and not her and anyways, it was time to go.  As we walked by their table we stopped, i paused for a little bit, then said, are you two kids on a date?  He said yes and i dropped the folded up 20 on the table.  He was like, NO WAY, jumped up and shook my hand.  I think she was a little dumbfounded.  Then we walked out.

Since i've had some time to think about this many reasons have come to mind for God to have me do this.  Here are a few.  God is testing my willingness to obey when the task doesn't fit into my normal box.  Maybe he had borrowed $20 from somewhere he shouldn't have and God just wanted to bless him by replacing it.  Maybe someone else there who saw this happen needed some proof that there is still good in humanity.  Maybe one of the waiters had asked God for a sign that he was still there, maybe even asked for that specific event to happen.  There are many other possibilities but our God is so big that every one of these could be true at the same time.  Think of the complexity of arranging all those things to align at that one specific intersection.  That's how big our God is.  Not saying that any or all of these are true except for the testing/growing of my faith.  That one i know is true.  Our God works in the extraordinary and he excels in the mundane.  He wants so badly to be in all of our little details.  To get into the dirt in the cracks.  Are you letting him in?

Blog about love

Kind of a misleading title because i'm not really writing about love.  So Leia i think it was posted a link to a blog this guy has about love.  He's a single, Godly man, who desperately desires companionship.  This was some of the hardest stuff i've ever read.  I've been married for 17 years and think i'm even more detached from my feelings during singlehood than my childhood.  It really broke my heart seeing the longing of his heart and then realizing that most of our youth staff live with this every day.  We live in two opposing worlds.  I struggle to mesh my wife's needs, my 3 kids' needs and the calling God has put in my dna.  I'm not saying they oppose each other but Chris is not necessarily in the same place i am and i am being led more and more into a sacrificial life that she must be willing to go on her own volition.  Don't get me wrong.  God placed us together for a reason, many, many reasons so these things will come when the time is right.  My friends and fellow saints who are single have a much different pull on their lives.  Having this constant desire for love and intimacy and companionship constantly at war in their hearts and minds with their devotion to God is a very hard thing.  Something i would not voluntarily trade for.  Ever.  These people are the most wonderful, Godly people i could ever wish to be around and i hate to see them sad (i'm not by any means saying they are sad all the time but i'd guess they all have their moments) but God has their best in mind always.  He wants to bless and love on them as much as they can handle but he has a divine method to his madness and their greatest happiness is following his plan.  From before the foundations of the earth He designed a wonderful mate for each of them.  The perfect spouse if you will.  I know that i have mine, not because of anything i did but because He divinely intervened.  I made my choice and was married for 6 weeks.  God made my choice and been married for 17 years.  Not even gonna argue with him on that one.

God, please give these young people (see, even our leaders are young people to me), a vision of what you want them to be.  Make them into the perfect spouse for their perfect spouse.  And just fill their hearts to overflowing that they wouldn't be so sorrowful with longing for love that they don't take time to fill up on you.  God, you have plans so awesome for them that they couldn't write the story if they had a million years.  Thank you for loving all the little insignificant us's so much that you invest in our every moment.  May we all chase after you to fill the longing in our hearts and as we fill may you create more longing that we can never get enough of you.  You, God, are our filling station.  The only thing of value that we can put in.  Thank you for being you and for loving me.

survived another day

Watched a movie called One Week.  Bout a guy who finds he has stage 4 cancer, buys a motorcycle and rides from east coast of Canada to the west coast.  With many strange adventures in the middle of course.  Kinda didn't do much today.  School called about 10min after dropping kids off to say that Ashtin had a tummy ache.  Picked her up to find her tummy was caused by fighting with Josh but so many kids are sick that they hear that they instantly send home.  Had to take her home.  She threw up twice late in afternoon.  After coming home with Ashtin someone came over and bought my 53 GMC truck which kinda saddened me the rest of the day.  Not letting it go but that I think the buyer was going to scrap it.  Didn't do my devotions today.  Spent very little time with God.  Epic fail!  Little girl died a couple nights ago.  She attended Cascade High School and was friends with at least one person in our Youth Group.  My first thought so often when someone dies is, glad they were not in our group.  What a selfish thought.  Like, that's really sad, but at least i don't have to deal with it.  What a sad thing it is to lose a friend or family member, especially at such a young age.  I pray that this tragedy brings an opening for God to move into some lives where he might not have been able to go before.  That those who have been open to God would really turn to him for strength, for answers, for comfort.  God so badly wants to be in our situation.  To walk with us.


New paragraph, cause your supposed to do that once in a while.  Went to State Surplus yard to look for bicycles and just happened to talk to woman whose son was raised in the church, did his devotions (unlike me today) and was taught all the stuff we teach our kids hoping they will grab onto God and walk with him.  This young man, Keith, i think was his name, 22ish i believe, did not quite follow that path.  Her first mention of him was pothead.  I encouraged her to continue to pray for him and reminded her that although he is not following God, he does have a foundation to come back to when everything he grabs onto in life slips through his fingers.  As a youth worker, sometimes that's all we can do.  We get them for a few years and teach them as much about God as we can because they can be gone at any time.  I don't mean by death, but moving away, going to different church, and many times just volatility in the family that prevents them from attending.  What i didn't do was to pray with her there on the spot (amateur move), but i'm learning.  I feel so called to missions.  Not to go and be a missionary, but to reach those around me.  As God continues to grow me and i am open to those opportunities, then he provides.  I look at my life and think, "i don't do much for God".  Some of my time is spent working with youth at church and other functions but that's about it.  I try and figure out how to do more and then things like the surplus yard just happen.  God places chances for ministry right in my lap as i grow into that place.  It's really exciting to experience and even more so knowing this is just the beginning.  Another thing to think about is that i can't see the full workings of the ministry i am involved in.  It's not up to me to worry about how much ministry to be involved in but just to do and go as God leads.  For the first time since the four years or so that we've been back to church God has finally given me a sense of excitement, a joy about serving him.  What a wonderful God we serve.

1st post ever so don't expect much.

Been wanting to do a blog for a long time.  I feel like God gives me a lot to share but i don't want to take over fb with it and some stuff might not be appropriate for everyone.  Thanks, for reading, more to come, i promise.