A different addiction experience

     I don't know if this will have a theme or not I just wanted to write. The other day I grabbed an empty beer bottle to move it to the recycle bin. When I grabbed that bottle with my whole hand around the neck time stopped. *a note before going any further. I don't drink. I never have. Not even a drop cept for a sip of pink champagne left from my first wedding. Nothing. No desire. But as I held that bottle, as that bottle held me, I became a different me. Although there were no specifics I could sense a destroyed me, a destroyed family. I could feel myself sitting in a chair tipping back a bottle, my grip on that bottle very specific. I stood there holding that bottle, we were holding each other really, and time stood still. It should have been a simple task that lasted a few seconds at most. I don't know how long it lasted but I was in awe of the power it held on me. I've had some comparable experiences with cigarettes and I can't explain either. I wrote about this probably a couple of years ago. I don't understand but I do know that for me to drink or smoke would be a slippery slope. One that I need to stay far away from.