You always have it together. A friend said people tell her this all the time. She laughs. If they only knew.
The funny thing is though, she and her friends are both right. She doesn't have it all together. A mess as often as not. She sees her failures. Time not spent in prayer, friends who haven't been called back, a Bible more lonely than it should be. Too many things done wrong, appointments with grace never met. Struggling to pick the right book or video series for the next Bible study. Days, weeks, and months fly by, will there ever be time to stop and catch up?
Her friends are growing because of this woman who gives all she can. They are greeted by her loving hugs, soothed by her prayers and tears, fed by the Spirit that flows within her, and closer to God because of her. She is no saint, but she is who God made her to be so maybe she is a saint.
Monday, March 16, 2015
Thursday, March 12, 2015
projects
There's this wierd thing that happens when I get past the halfway point of a project. It's like I can see the finished product so the excitement to continue evaporates. I'm dreaming already about the next five projects. Most times there's a whole gaggle (creative word choice) of projects going on simultaneously to stifle the boredom. That definitely helps me keep going but isn't so helpful for actually finishing things.
My bedroom pallet ceiling kinda brought this up. Don't worry, I'm still plugging along. A friend was kind enough to bring over a box of nails yesterday to keep me from standstill. It's well past 1/22 done. Let's try that again with only one 2. 1/2 done. Apparently my two key sticks. On my touchscreen. It looks really good and is totally worth the 3000hrs of labor seems to be taking. 17 days today. My wife is giddy to see it done while my level of excitement is moving down rapidly in proportion to the work seeming to go up.
This has definitely stirred my creative juices. I want to build a pallet bench. Want to build a flatbed and cool running boards for my 51 Chev truck. Want to buy another hot rod project to fix up and sell, build Coke glass light fixtures for the kitchen, build a shed near shop for tools and still got something else to build for bedroom. It's a surprise. Can't say. There's about a hundred other pending projects or dreams. It's no wonder I can't sleep at night. Brain running doubletime.
Welp, life calls. Kids to pickup and stuff. You guys have a great day.
My bedroom pallet ceiling kinda brought this up. Don't worry, I'm still plugging along. A friend was kind enough to bring over a box of nails yesterday to keep me from standstill. It's well past 1/22 done. Let's try that again with only one 2. 1/2 done. Apparently my two key sticks. On my touchscreen. It looks really good and is totally worth the 3000hrs of labor seems to be taking. 17 days today. My wife is giddy to see it done while my level of excitement is moving down rapidly in proportion to the work seeming to go up.
This has definitely stirred my creative juices. I want to build a pallet bench. Want to build a flatbed and cool running boards for my 51 Chev truck. Want to buy another hot rod project to fix up and sell, build Coke glass light fixtures for the kitchen, build a shed near shop for tools and still got something else to build for bedroom. It's a surprise. Can't say. There's about a hundred other pending projects or dreams. It's no wonder I can't sleep at night. Brain running doubletime.
Welp, life calls. Kids to pickup and stuff. You guys have a great day.
Sunday, March 8, 2015
I am an arteest
Right now I am in the middle of a pallet ceiling in my bedroom. Ok, I'm in the middle of building it I'm not in the middle of it. This is about 10 times the work of sheetrock. I mean seriously. Gotta get the pallets, then disassemble and remove every nail/staple. These are 8' long with sides 2-3'tall and take an hour to two to break down. Then each board has to be cut to fit a specific space which has to look totally random, planed on one side, then bent and pried and fit into place. Had to buy the planer too. But I'm an arteest and its gonna look cool.
One of the two 4' lights in our kitchen died recently. My first thought was to put a new ballast in it but then wait. What if I drilled holes in the bottom of Coke glasses, mounted a light socket inside each one and hung from the ceiling? That'd be way better And about 10 times the work minimum. Stay tuned for that if I can work out the details.
My shop is in the back yard and it can get really muddy. So the obvious solution right is to get a truckload of gravel and make a road. Right? So what I did was to bury railroad ties lengthwise four on each side to make a sort of road to the shop. Nearly two hundred of them over a several year time period all dug and laid by hand. My hands. Little bit more than 10 times the work.
I wish my wife were up at this ungodly hour of the night so she could list off more of my genius (stupid) projects like these. I think if there's a hard job I will find an artistic way to make it substantially harder.
There is an element of satisfaction knowing that my whatever is like none other, or one of only a few. No matter how stupid I've come to think my railroad ties are there are always people coming over who think it's cool. Genius maybe. Whatever comes next it is likely I will find a way to make it substantially harder on myself, take forever, and maybe even look cool. I'm an arteest!
One of the two 4' lights in our kitchen died recently. My first thought was to put a new ballast in it but then wait. What if I drilled holes in the bottom of Coke glasses, mounted a light socket inside each one and hung from the ceiling? That'd be way better And about 10 times the work minimum. Stay tuned for that if I can work out the details.
My shop is in the back yard and it can get really muddy. So the obvious solution right is to get a truckload of gravel and make a road. Right? So what I did was to bury railroad ties lengthwise four on each side to make a sort of road to the shop. Nearly two hundred of them over a several year time period all dug and laid by hand. My hands. Little bit more than 10 times the work.
I wish my wife were up at this ungodly hour of the night so she could list off more of my genius (stupid) projects like these. I think if there's a hard job I will find an artistic way to make it substantially harder.
There is an element of satisfaction knowing that my whatever is like none other, or one of only a few. No matter how stupid I've come to think my railroad ties are there are always people coming over who think it's cool. Genius maybe. Whatever comes next it is likely I will find a way to make it substantially harder on myself, take forever, and maybe even look cool. I'm an arteest!
I wonder if Jesus did small talk
I am fascinated by the idea of what filled all the inbetween spaces with Jesus and His followers. What was it really like 24/7 with the God-man? What was the small talk? Was there small talk? Few people ever want to be around someone who only talks of kingdom stuff.
I find myself irresistibly drawn to conversations of kingdom stuff. I think in some respects that's all I would talk if given the chance. I love meat. Even in the midst of a war or election eternity still weighs more heavily. I don't think most people are like this. It seems most folks need small talk. The water cooler conversations. The game last night. Who killed or cheated on who on last nights episode of whatever. However, I do love Netflix. I like romance and exploding stuff.
I tend however to find eternal implications in whatever I watch. Whether Diehard 4 or Rambo 4 or the latest super romantic sad movie, what was that called? Oh, The fault in our stars. I see kingdom implications everywhere. The better movies can keep me going for days on how sad it is that they fought so hard for something but it's all meaningless without God. The greatest romance ever is nothing if you get to heaven and don't get to stay. Those memories won't comfort in hell.
Is anybody else like this? On those long road trips and boring spaces what did Jesus fill the time with? We read about some of the highlights in the Bible, what was the rest? Was it all highlights and important teachings or small talk too? The brain only learns for so long a period at a time so there must have been lots of filler. The filler seems to be what builds intimacy long term. I mean, not talks of tv but of where you grew up, your sisters age and your favorite place to live. The details that separate friends from acquaintances.
Eleven guys were willing to follow Jesus to death. They weren't thrill seekers looking for death. There was something else about being with Jesus. They loved Jesus. They weren't just clinging to His Godness though. Maybe it started out that way but I think they clung to him out of love.
So how do I find the balance? I'm 43 years old and still asking simple questions to things it seems I should know by now. The only thing that matters is eternity in heaven. But we don't live there yet and there is stuff all around us that is very important in this end of life. If I cant relate it to the eternal then I don't want to waste my time.
Those of you who know me know I love to talk of cool hotrods n ratrods, vintage bmx bikes and the pallet ceiling I'm doing in my bedroom. It's not all God stuff. But I do find it hard to want to keep up with what is blowing up the internet this week. Or what is trending on twitter. And then as if the latest battle over a wardrobe malfunction/Cardashian/Mike Rowe/Democrat/Republican/Tea Party/Iran/Israeli/Isis meltdown isn't enough, we still have these arguments over law vs. grace and predestination vs. free will. I mean jeesh, is any of this getting us closer to knowing God? And if it's not then why do we keep it up? Are we that easily distracted by Satan? The Bible says to those who have been called you have also been chosen. Predestination. It also says if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead then you will be saved. Free will. So why are we arguing one or the other when the Bible says both? Can we talk about something of value please? Something that would grow you and grow me and draw unbelievers close as well. I do not think it is that hard, Jesus couldn't hardly get away from people they wanted to be around Him so bad. So why don't they want to be around us?
I find myself irresistibly drawn to conversations of kingdom stuff. I think in some respects that's all I would talk if given the chance. I love meat. Even in the midst of a war or election eternity still weighs more heavily. I don't think most people are like this. It seems most folks need small talk. The water cooler conversations. The game last night. Who killed or cheated on who on last nights episode of whatever. However, I do love Netflix. I like romance and exploding stuff.
I tend however to find eternal implications in whatever I watch. Whether Diehard 4 or Rambo 4 or the latest super romantic sad movie, what was that called? Oh, The fault in our stars. I see kingdom implications everywhere. The better movies can keep me going for days on how sad it is that they fought so hard for something but it's all meaningless without God. The greatest romance ever is nothing if you get to heaven and don't get to stay. Those memories won't comfort in hell.
Is anybody else like this? On those long road trips and boring spaces what did Jesus fill the time with? We read about some of the highlights in the Bible, what was the rest? Was it all highlights and important teachings or small talk too? The brain only learns for so long a period at a time so there must have been lots of filler. The filler seems to be what builds intimacy long term. I mean, not talks of tv but of where you grew up, your sisters age and your favorite place to live. The details that separate friends from acquaintances.
Eleven guys were willing to follow Jesus to death. They weren't thrill seekers looking for death. There was something else about being with Jesus. They loved Jesus. They weren't just clinging to His Godness though. Maybe it started out that way but I think they clung to him out of love.
So how do I find the balance? I'm 43 years old and still asking simple questions to things it seems I should know by now. The only thing that matters is eternity in heaven. But we don't live there yet and there is stuff all around us that is very important in this end of life. If I cant relate it to the eternal then I don't want to waste my time.
Those of you who know me know I love to talk of cool hotrods n ratrods, vintage bmx bikes and the pallet ceiling I'm doing in my bedroom. It's not all God stuff. But I do find it hard to want to keep up with what is blowing up the internet this week. Or what is trending on twitter. And then as if the latest battle over a wardrobe malfunction/Cardashian/Mike Rowe/Democrat/Republican/Tea Party/Iran/Israeli/Isis meltdown isn't enough, we still have these arguments over law vs. grace and predestination vs. free will. I mean jeesh, is any of this getting us closer to knowing God? And if it's not then why do we keep it up? Are we that easily distracted by Satan? The Bible says to those who have been called you have also been chosen. Predestination. It also says if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead then you will be saved. Free will. So why are we arguing one or the other when the Bible says both? Can we talk about something of value please? Something that would grow you and grow me and draw unbelievers close as well. I do not think it is that hard, Jesus couldn't hardly get away from people they wanted to be around Him so bad. So why don't they want to be around us?
Thursday, March 5, 2015
more waste of the internet's capability
I was thinking that blogging is kinda like being a musician. You've got to follow your passion and make the music you care about yet at the same time people better be able to relate to it or you'll be doing it at 50 years old from the comfort of your mammas basement. I did say kinda like. I don't do this to make money one day, I just enjoy it. And I'm nearing 50 and nowhere near my moms basement.
This is that terrible dilemma. Terrible for me anyways. I really want to just write what I feel like writing but if you guys don't care about it then I might as well use pen and paper. Maybe the prez should blog so he wouldn't need to use his pen so much.
I'm thinking about challenging myself to a blog a day for some period of time. In the past I only wrote when something really pressed upon me. While I am still doing that some, more often than not it's just random things floating through my head. There's a lot of randomness up there. In any given day there's probably 3-5 things I'd like to write about. It's the quantity that is actually making it harder to write anything of value. Too much mush in my head, need some clarity. So rather than waiting for clarity maybe I can just write it out of my head. And, maybe it will help me become a better writer. Shouldn't hurt should it?
I don't care what people think, it's just that I really care what people think. So regardless of what you think, and because especially I care what you think, I will continue to blog. Yeah, you try being inside my head.
This is that terrible dilemma. Terrible for me anyways. I really want to just write what I feel like writing but if you guys don't care about it then I might as well use pen and paper. Maybe the prez should blog so he wouldn't need to use his pen so much.
I'm thinking about challenging myself to a blog a day for some period of time. In the past I only wrote when something really pressed upon me. While I am still doing that some, more often than not it's just random things floating through my head. There's a lot of randomness up there. In any given day there's probably 3-5 things I'd like to write about. It's the quantity that is actually making it harder to write anything of value. Too much mush in my head, need some clarity. So rather than waiting for clarity maybe I can just write it out of my head. And, maybe it will help me become a better writer. Shouldn't hurt should it?
I don't care what people think, it's just that I really care what people think. So regardless of what you think, and because especially I care what you think, I will continue to blog. Yeah, you try being inside my head.
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
when finances and faith and patience don't want to coexist.
It is tough to live within our means. Sometimes it's the choice between this thing or that, other times there are no choices available. Money has been wisely spent but there's just no more of it. It's kind of a trapped feeling that I'm sure many of you can relate to. We don't mis-spend our money, don't buy things without reason. There are no credit cards and even checks went away a long time ago.
This is the life we've chosen. We've had no dreams of wealth. Well, except for the lottery. Did you buy the ticket honey? No, I thought you did. We have dreams. Not dreams of better, wealthier days. Old fashioned dreams of happy and healthy kids playing in the back yard. Of evenings spent just the wifee and me, watching tv or some other mindless activity. And for the most part those dreams have come true. The Viper is still just a Hotwheel. All the hot rods dreamt of just sit rusting away, still waiting on some day.
There is contentment in this place. A knowing beyond all doubt that God has cared for us. Has brought us through and protected us. He has blessed us much. Why then do I get these times of hopelessness and despair? Why is my spirit low? And why does God who cares for us and provides all our needs leave us with debt from medical issues and doctor visits? I feel that especially as a Christian my debts should be paid. Another should not be suffering because of me. Even a company. Yet every year we still have debt. Some gets paid off and a little more springs up. It seems like it would be so freeing to not owe others. God could provide means to pay it all off so in some way or another it seems that it is not a priority to God. Seems like that means I shouldn't stress about it or worry about it even.
I have faith. I trust you God. You don't need to build to a dramatic pause for my faith. I believe. So you can just do it now. I don't know if I've ever said that but sure have thought it. Like God, I know you know what you're doing but just this once do it my way. Maybe He's not working just on faith but my patience too. I don't like that idea. I have a lot of patience except when I don't. No need to work there. Maybe I should just buy a lottery ticket, odds much better than changing God's mind. His plan is so much better, blah, blah, blah. Sometimes I know enough of the answers but just want to wallow. Swim in self pity for a bit.
Once upon a time we had two incomes. The kids were much younger. Then grandma got too sick to take care of them and my job came to an end. We chose the one income road. To raise our kids ourselves rather than childcare. Next to having kids this was probably the best decision we've made. I don't ever regret it but do resent not having money. So here's my little vent. Nothing needs to be fixed but the brain needs to let go of things and move on. So here's to moving on. To new challenges as well as old.
This is the life we've chosen. We've had no dreams of wealth. Well, except for the lottery. Did you buy the ticket honey? No, I thought you did. We have dreams. Not dreams of better, wealthier days. Old fashioned dreams of happy and healthy kids playing in the back yard. Of evenings spent just the wifee and me, watching tv or some other mindless activity. And for the most part those dreams have come true. The Viper is still just a Hotwheel. All the hot rods dreamt of just sit rusting away, still waiting on some day.
There is contentment in this place. A knowing beyond all doubt that God has cared for us. Has brought us through and protected us. He has blessed us much. Why then do I get these times of hopelessness and despair? Why is my spirit low? And why does God who cares for us and provides all our needs leave us with debt from medical issues and doctor visits? I feel that especially as a Christian my debts should be paid. Another should not be suffering because of me. Even a company. Yet every year we still have debt. Some gets paid off and a little more springs up. It seems like it would be so freeing to not owe others. God could provide means to pay it all off so in some way or another it seems that it is not a priority to God. Seems like that means I shouldn't stress about it or worry about it even.
I have faith. I trust you God. You don't need to build to a dramatic pause for my faith. I believe. So you can just do it now. I don't know if I've ever said that but sure have thought it. Like God, I know you know what you're doing but just this once do it my way. Maybe He's not working just on faith but my patience too. I don't like that idea. I have a lot of patience except when I don't. No need to work there. Maybe I should just buy a lottery ticket, odds much better than changing God's mind. His plan is so much better, blah, blah, blah. Sometimes I know enough of the answers but just want to wallow. Swim in self pity for a bit.
Once upon a time we had two incomes. The kids were much younger. Then grandma got too sick to take care of them and my job came to an end. We chose the one income road. To raise our kids ourselves rather than childcare. Next to having kids this was probably the best decision we've made. I don't ever regret it but do resent not having money. So here's my little vent. Nothing needs to be fixed but the brain needs to let go of things and move on. So here's to moving on. To new challenges as well as old.
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