If there was one thing I wanted you to get out of my blog over anything else it would be that I am a hopelessly broken person. Often I share insights into the Lord. God gives me revelation (epiphany is my favorite word) and I then try and decipher what is for me alone and what to share and with whom to share it. I feel as if I sit back and tell you how to be successful with God and maybe that leads some people to think I have it all figured out. Or at least to think I think I have it all figured out. Or maybe it's not my blog but somewhere in life you've gotten the impression I think I'm all that and more. I don't. I strive to be as honest and transparent as possible when I write. I get revelation from God and I share that when I think I'm supposed to. I have opinions and strong beliefs that are right and then sometimes not so much.
So on the one hand I strongly share what I believe to be God's truths and on the other hand I attempt to be transparent about all that I'm not. The openness and honesty is where I seem to get in trouble. At one point my wife and I were asked to step down from ministry after being vulnerable. That openness scares people. Although there is a cry for genuineness in the church body it scares people. No more pretending. But we are broken. Deeply broken people. Seeing other's damage scares us. Maybe we haven't dealt with our own and it starts coming to the surface. Maybe we have had a charmed life and don't have that kind of ugly brokenness inside. I'm sure there is a million different reasons. Whatever the cause it is uncomfortable. But why?
Why is it we relish the honesty of Bible characters and not of ourselves? All through the Psalms David pours his heart out. His life is an open book of sorts and we are so glad of his honesty. But when the local mega church pastor down the street falters, we cringe. We turn our heads in disgust. Blogs are written in praise and condemnation. We all have something to say.
Few would open up and say let me get the log out of my own eye first.
Why not let their example be an opening of the gates? Can we not be willing to hear other's sin. Help me to understand your battle. What is the thing you can't seem to wash under the blood? That thing that just keeps coming back. Maybe you can't confront it at all. God has worked amazing things in my life in spite of my brokenness. Why is there so much shame? We've seen the things Godly men did thousands of years ago, is not the God they served the same one we serve?
The question really is, do I want to grow? Am I ready and willing to lay down myself and become all that God made me to be? When I want His life more than my own it becomes easy. Not easy work, no, but the choice to confront sin becomes easy. No matter the difficulty following a decision I want to because the reward is so worth it. I have my eyes on a new prize. So what are you waiting for? What is holding you back from jumping forward? What prize would be worth it for you to begin letting go of those things? Jesus says, whatever you ask for in my name I will give it. God says, what father if his son asks for bread would give him a stone? How much more than will your Father in heaven give to those who ask? If you don't know where to begin, if you don't have anyone you could talk to, ask God for help. Ask Him for guidance. Ask Him for courage. Ask Him for mentor (s). Ask Him for understanding. Ask and it will be given. Seek and ye will find. Knock and the door will be opened. This is God's way of saying that whatever you need, need, not want, He will provide. You only need ask.
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