What if we pray and know concretely God will provide and He doesn't? I wrote previously about trusting in God to move people's hearts into desiring to give, as in tithing to a church. So we have a church body who love graciously, a pastor and staff who believe unflinchingly God will provide the needs. Missionaries across the world relying on our funding, but the money is weak. It just isn't there. Pastor is taking minimal salary and missions spending has ceased.
Imagine being the missionary. I can hear the desperate pleas. Anything, just anything. The work God is doing over here and through us is unbelievable. I know God wants this to continue and God willing even to grow. What would happen if we left? You gotta help us. And then there's the broken chairs, the leaky roof and faultering van of the church. We can't survive like this. You gotta help us God.
What if God called home every missionary in Africa? Could God still build His church there? Could God have a bigger, amazing plan that we could never dream? What if as a church family you finally fold your hands and say God, we can't do this? Could that be the start of God's amazing new work?
We know the answers. It's an immediate yes to all those questions. But can we live that? Can we abandon all hope of knowing where God is going and just listen? He will do it so radically different than all we can imagine if we will just work with Him. This is relationship. He is bigger and better and crazier that any amusement park ride. He has a fiery love for His people. It doesn't just drive Him, it is Him. Everything God does is to love us. To hopefully hit us in just the right way that we will love Him back.
God can reach every people group without us. He loves each one more in one instant than we can in a lifetime. So when we argue and plead with God that we need some thing or to be some place so we can reach those we're called to, do you think He doesn't want that? Do you think He doesn't know the need?
I do believe that God calls us to places at times where we fail for lack of other's faithfulness. These are great times to learn another kind of faith. The kind where God will take this failure and turn it for good. Where you can learn to believe that with every fiber in your being.
The end game is that we trust God. In the failures and in the successes we trust God. Because He is God and we are not. He is creator and we are creation. He is all knowing and we are barely knowing at all. He is life and breath and all. You are all God.
Monday, February 15, 2016
Letting God do the work
What if we prayed, "God, move in the hearts and minds of your people to support your work," instead of getting up on Sunday morning and offering different verses and personal stories to incentivize the congregation to give monetarily? Could we believe on God to move their hearts? Our hearts? Is our plea to give furthering the work of God in their hearts? Outward motivation is often the catalyst for inward change. Is this one of those places?
God hardened king Saul's heart. God hardened the heart of Pharoah, king of Egypt. Jesus opened the minds of his disciples to receive all that He had taught them. God worked in the heart of Cyrus, ruler of the Persian empire, to allow Jews to return to Jerusalem. It's obvious God is quite capable of softening/hardening and molding hearts and minds.
In some ways I think we do a great job of trusting God to do the work in people's lives, but in other ways we kinda suck at it. Only God can make internal change. Do we have the faith to rely on Him to do it? Or do we try to ensure the right result ourselves?
What if we met as leaders and prayed for church finances? I know we all pray for finances already. But do we pray asking, hoping that God will help people to give? Or do we pray knowing that God can and will move in the people's hearts. God is after much more than funding His church. He is after the heart of every person who walks through the door. I hope I'm not coming off too strongly here. It's just God is not losing any sleep over church finances. He is all about the heart. The church exists for the heart. Tithes exist to reach the heart. How many thousands or millions of people have been turned away from things of God because the call for money was louder than the love? Or maybe it wasn't louder but it was heard first. What if we prayed believing that God will supply the needs, then simply announed where to place the offerings and let God and the people do the rest. I know this sounds radical, but we have a radical God. I used to totally disagree with this idea. I thought people needed the bucket/bag passed and to be passionately reminded to give. I didn't understand the power of God. I mean I still only understand a little but I am understanding.
Is it also possible that a church that gives abundantly could also be very unhealthy? That we can do many great things without God being involved? Sure it is. We move without God a lot.
Would we rather have the blessing of God or the blessing of manna? God is not against money. There is no set relationship between God and money or faith and money. One church may never ask for funds and have more than enough and another barely any. Or the opposite of course is true, with regard to reminding or even begging members to give.
So it is not truly a question of how we facilitate gettings funds for the church. It is about our faith in God. Do we trust Him to provide? I know we say we do but do we really?
Could we believe so radically that it doesn't matter if our church is funded? Can we be so desperately latched to God that we don't concern ourselves with such things? We follow God's purpose, His heart, and He always is enough?
God hardened king Saul's heart. God hardened the heart of Pharoah, king of Egypt. Jesus opened the minds of his disciples to receive all that He had taught them. God worked in the heart of Cyrus, ruler of the Persian empire, to allow Jews to return to Jerusalem. It's obvious God is quite capable of softening/hardening and molding hearts and minds.
In some ways I think we do a great job of trusting God to do the work in people's lives, but in other ways we kinda suck at it. Only God can make internal change. Do we have the faith to rely on Him to do it? Or do we try to ensure the right result ourselves?
What if we met as leaders and prayed for church finances? I know we all pray for finances already. But do we pray asking, hoping that God will help people to give? Or do we pray knowing that God can and will move in the people's hearts. God is after much more than funding His church. He is after the heart of every person who walks through the door. I hope I'm not coming off too strongly here. It's just God is not losing any sleep over church finances. He is all about the heart. The church exists for the heart. Tithes exist to reach the heart. How many thousands or millions of people have been turned away from things of God because the call for money was louder than the love? Or maybe it wasn't louder but it was heard first. What if we prayed believing that God will supply the needs, then simply announed where to place the offerings and let God and the people do the rest. I know this sounds radical, but we have a radical God. I used to totally disagree with this idea. I thought people needed the bucket/bag passed and to be passionately reminded to give. I didn't understand the power of God. I mean I still only understand a little but I am understanding.
Is it also possible that a church that gives abundantly could also be very unhealthy? That we can do many great things without God being involved? Sure it is. We move without God a lot.
Would we rather have the blessing of God or the blessing of manna? God is not against money. There is no set relationship between God and money or faith and money. One church may never ask for funds and have more than enough and another barely any. Or the opposite of course is true, with regard to reminding or even begging members to give.
So it is not truly a question of how we facilitate gettings funds for the church. It is about our faith in God. Do we trust Him to provide? I know we say we do but do we really?
Could we believe so radically that it doesn't matter if our church is funded? Can we be so desperately latched to God that we don't concern ourselves with such things? We follow God's purpose, His heart, and He always is enough?
Friday, February 12, 2016
Who will go to heaven?
From Brennan Manning in the Ragamuffin Gospel.
Because salvation is by grace through faith, I believe that among the countless number of people standing in front of the throne and in front of the Lamb, dressed in white robes and holding palms in their hands (see Revelation 7:9). I shall see the prostitute from the Kit-Hat Ranch in Carson City, Nevada, who tearfully told me she could find no other employment to support her two year old son. I shall see the woman who had an abortion and is haunted by guilt and remorse but did the best she could faced with grueling alternatives; the businessman besieged with debt who sold his integrity in a series of desperate transactions; the insecure clergyman addicted to being liked, who never challenged his people from the pulpit and longed for unconditional love; the sexually abused teen molested by his father and now selling his body on the street, who, as he falls asleep each night after his last "trick," whispers the name of the unknown God he learned about in Sunday school; the deathbed convert who for decades had his cake and ate it, broke every law of God and man, wallowed in lust, and raped the earth.
But how? We ask.
Then the voice says, "they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the lamb."
There they are. There we are--the multitude who so wanted to be faithful, who at times got defeated, soiled by life, and bested by trials, wearing the bloodied garments of life's tribulations, but through it all cling to the faith.
My friends, if this is not good news to you, you have never understood the gospel of grace.
Here's a guy who truly got God's heart for us. It wasn't because he had a revelation one day, although that may be true also, but because he lived it. He was a man who fought his entire life to be free from alcohol. Only the grave truly ended his fight. He would be sober for 6 months and then fall prey again, he just could never escape it's pull. So how did this man who continued to fall to his addiction have such a profound impact on thousands upon thousands of people?
He gave everything to God. His failures and his successes. God took him as he was and used him. Manning's life goes against everything we preach. Even though we say come as you are I don't think we do a very good job of living that out. I think we are judgemental and harsh. I think we expect change. And we should. But we don't know what change God is doing in relation to what changes we see. God alone can look into their heart and really know.
I read that paragraph from Brennan and cringe at some of it. Yeah, but him? Yeah, but her? I just don't think so. My wife and I often rest on this scripture. Matthew 25:31-46. This is the when did we see you hungry and feed you? A stranger and invite you in? If you don't know it look it up. What strikes us about this is that many who thought they were getting in did not, and many others who did not expect entrance were welcomed in. Imagine that; people going to heaven who don't even know they're going. How could that even be? I'm not sure I really grasp that. It begs the question.
What is God truly after?
Maybe obedience and evidence can be exclusive. Maybe I don't see what is really happening. Maybe the few scriptures I look to to decide if someone is a "Christian", or to decide if a believer is "growing," are not enough. Maybe it is necessary to understand the whole of God's story. Maybe God has much more going on.
Because salvation is by grace through faith, I believe that among the countless number of people standing in front of the throne and in front of the Lamb, dressed in white robes and holding palms in their hands (see Revelation 7:9). I shall see the prostitute from the Kit-Hat Ranch in Carson City, Nevada, who tearfully told me she could find no other employment to support her two year old son. I shall see the woman who had an abortion and is haunted by guilt and remorse but did the best she could faced with grueling alternatives; the businessman besieged with debt who sold his integrity in a series of desperate transactions; the insecure clergyman addicted to being liked, who never challenged his people from the pulpit and longed for unconditional love; the sexually abused teen molested by his father and now selling his body on the street, who, as he falls asleep each night after his last "trick," whispers the name of the unknown God he learned about in Sunday school; the deathbed convert who for decades had his cake and ate it, broke every law of God and man, wallowed in lust, and raped the earth.
But how? We ask.
Then the voice says, "they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the lamb."
There they are. There we are--the multitude who so wanted to be faithful, who at times got defeated, soiled by life, and bested by trials, wearing the bloodied garments of life's tribulations, but through it all cling to the faith.
My friends, if this is not good news to you, you have never understood the gospel of grace.
Here's a guy who truly got God's heart for us. It wasn't because he had a revelation one day, although that may be true also, but because he lived it. He was a man who fought his entire life to be free from alcohol. Only the grave truly ended his fight. He would be sober for 6 months and then fall prey again, he just could never escape it's pull. So how did this man who continued to fall to his addiction have such a profound impact on thousands upon thousands of people?
He gave everything to God. His failures and his successes. God took him as he was and used him. Manning's life goes against everything we preach. Even though we say come as you are I don't think we do a very good job of living that out. I think we are judgemental and harsh. I think we expect change. And we should. But we don't know what change God is doing in relation to what changes we see. God alone can look into their heart and really know.
I read that paragraph from Brennan and cringe at some of it. Yeah, but him? Yeah, but her? I just don't think so. My wife and I often rest on this scripture. Matthew 25:31-46. This is the when did we see you hungry and feed you? A stranger and invite you in? If you don't know it look it up. What strikes us about this is that many who thought they were getting in did not, and many others who did not expect entrance were welcomed in. Imagine that; people going to heaven who don't even know they're going. How could that even be? I'm not sure I really grasp that. It begs the question.
What is God truly after?
Maybe obedience and evidence can be exclusive. Maybe I don't see what is really happening. Maybe the few scriptures I look to to decide if someone is a "Christian", or to decide if a believer is "growing," are not enough. Maybe it is necessary to understand the whole of God's story. Maybe God has much more going on.
Thursday, February 4, 2016
I am strong and hopelessly broken
If there was one thing I wanted you to get out of my blog over anything else it would be that I am a hopelessly broken person. Often I share insights into the Lord. God gives me revelation (epiphany is my favorite word) and I then try and decipher what is for me alone and what to share and with whom to share it. I feel as if I sit back and tell you how to be successful with God and maybe that leads some people to think I have it all figured out. Or at least to think I think I have it all figured out. Or maybe it's not my blog but somewhere in life you've gotten the impression I think I'm all that and more. I don't. I strive to be as honest and transparent as possible when I write. I get revelation from God and I share that when I think I'm supposed to. I have opinions and strong beliefs that are right and then sometimes not so much.
So on the one hand I strongly share what I believe to be God's truths and on the other hand I attempt to be transparent about all that I'm not. The openness and honesty is where I seem to get in trouble. At one point my wife and I were asked to step down from ministry after being vulnerable. That openness scares people. Although there is a cry for genuineness in the church body it scares people. No more pretending. But we are broken. Deeply broken people. Seeing other's damage scares us. Maybe we haven't dealt with our own and it starts coming to the surface. Maybe we have had a charmed life and don't have that kind of ugly brokenness inside. I'm sure there is a million different reasons. Whatever the cause it is uncomfortable. But why?
Why is it we relish the honesty of Bible characters and not of ourselves? All through the Psalms David pours his heart out. His life is an open book of sorts and we are so glad of his honesty. But when the local mega church pastor down the street falters, we cringe. We turn our heads in disgust. Blogs are written in praise and condemnation. We all have something to say.
Few would open up and say let me get the log out of my own eye first.
Why not let their example be an opening of the gates? Can we not be willing to hear other's sin. Help me to understand your battle. What is the thing you can't seem to wash under the blood? That thing that just keeps coming back. Maybe you can't confront it at all. God has worked amazing things in my life in spite of my brokenness. Why is there so much shame? We've seen the things Godly men did thousands of years ago, is not the God they served the same one we serve?
The question really is, do I want to grow? Am I ready and willing to lay down myself and become all that God made me to be? When I want His life more than my own it becomes easy. Not easy work, no, but the choice to confront sin becomes easy. No matter the difficulty following a decision I want to because the reward is so worth it. I have my eyes on a new prize. So what are you waiting for? What is holding you back from jumping forward? What prize would be worth it for you to begin letting go of those things? Jesus says, whatever you ask for in my name I will give it. God says, what father if his son asks for bread would give him a stone? How much more than will your Father in heaven give to those who ask? If you don't know where to begin, if you don't have anyone you could talk to, ask God for help. Ask Him for guidance. Ask Him for courage. Ask Him for mentor (s). Ask Him for understanding. Ask and it will be given. Seek and ye will find. Knock and the door will be opened. This is God's way of saying that whatever you need, need, not want, He will provide. You only need ask.
So on the one hand I strongly share what I believe to be God's truths and on the other hand I attempt to be transparent about all that I'm not. The openness and honesty is where I seem to get in trouble. At one point my wife and I were asked to step down from ministry after being vulnerable. That openness scares people. Although there is a cry for genuineness in the church body it scares people. No more pretending. But we are broken. Deeply broken people. Seeing other's damage scares us. Maybe we haven't dealt with our own and it starts coming to the surface. Maybe we have had a charmed life and don't have that kind of ugly brokenness inside. I'm sure there is a million different reasons. Whatever the cause it is uncomfortable. But why?
Why is it we relish the honesty of Bible characters and not of ourselves? All through the Psalms David pours his heart out. His life is an open book of sorts and we are so glad of his honesty. But when the local mega church pastor down the street falters, we cringe. We turn our heads in disgust. Blogs are written in praise and condemnation. We all have something to say.
Few would open up and say let me get the log out of my own eye first.
Why not let their example be an opening of the gates? Can we not be willing to hear other's sin. Help me to understand your battle. What is the thing you can't seem to wash under the blood? That thing that just keeps coming back. Maybe you can't confront it at all. God has worked amazing things in my life in spite of my brokenness. Why is there so much shame? We've seen the things Godly men did thousands of years ago, is not the God they served the same one we serve?
The question really is, do I want to grow? Am I ready and willing to lay down myself and become all that God made me to be? When I want His life more than my own it becomes easy. Not easy work, no, but the choice to confront sin becomes easy. No matter the difficulty following a decision I want to because the reward is so worth it. I have my eyes on a new prize. So what are you waiting for? What is holding you back from jumping forward? What prize would be worth it for you to begin letting go of those things? Jesus says, whatever you ask for in my name I will give it. God says, what father if his son asks for bread would give him a stone? How much more than will your Father in heaven give to those who ask? If you don't know where to begin, if you don't have anyone you could talk to, ask God for help. Ask Him for guidance. Ask Him for courage. Ask Him for mentor (s). Ask Him for understanding. Ask and it will be given. Seek and ye will find. Knock and the door will be opened. This is God's way of saying that whatever you need, need, not want, He will provide. You only need ask.
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
God's favor
I've been thinking about favor. The favor of God. Recently I read an article that said God's favor in our lives was for other's benefit and not ours. I agree with that but I also see favor as a synonym for blessing. For some reason I just like that word favor.
Lately it seems as if we have been enveloped with God's favor.
As we have been turning to embrace this time in our lives from the resentment we were holding on to I just feel God's love washing over us. I love the sunshine. To feel the heat warming my face. It recharges my batteries so to speak. We're three weeks into the winter term, well Chris is, and life is good. School is easier. We got away for the weekend. It's like we've come out of a terrible dark stormy time into a peaceful harbor. The winds are calm, the birds are singing, and we are rejoicing. Oh yeah, and the sun is definitely shining.
I'm not sure anything has changed. If school is different or easier than before. Not only has school not been overwhelming so far but we might get to do a Bible class together. When Chris suggested we both could do the class I was so caught off guard. I never would even have asked. In fact I was not thinking of going myself. I don't know how to explain my feeling right now. It's like I've been holding my breath under water for as long as I can remember and now some water has drained and I'm sucking in deep breaths of fresh air and feeling giddy inside with new possibilities.
Has anything concrete actually changed? Is school easier or is God's favor allowing us to breath under water? I know the answer. God is giving us rest. As surely as I know anything, I know this. I feel it in my bones. I stopped fighting the water. Into my lungs it came, rushing in to kill me. To take me out of the battle. But I surrendered the fight. What I thought was death was instead a river of peace.
Remember the non-Christmas version of the song from Love Actually? I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes, love is all around me, and so the feeling grows. That's me right now. That's the favor of God. It doesn't come free. Oh bits of it might here and there but those are teasers. You have to move to get it all. I had to embrace this time in life.
It's like it's all just a state of mind. But God does so much more than just change state of mind. He changes everything. He frees finances, loosens shackles of time. Kindles love anew and makes hope grow. He comes in response to prayer or faith in one specific area and moves in every area. He loves. The enemy gets fifty shades of grey but God gets every color, His love is vast.
I beg you to look for God's blessing. As I have looked for it I have found more. As I recognized it and thanked God for it then more appeared. It's not a prosperity gospel by any means. What it is is a God who gives generously to those who give themselves to Him. And as you give to Him, He is able to give of you to others. So then the favor of God really is not for me but for you. I can encourage you as I am encouraged. And love as loved and give as given and so on. All for the glory of God.
Lately it seems as if we have been enveloped with God's favor.
As we have been turning to embrace this time in our lives from the resentment we were holding on to I just feel God's love washing over us. I love the sunshine. To feel the heat warming my face. It recharges my batteries so to speak. We're three weeks into the winter term, well Chris is, and life is good. School is easier. We got away for the weekend. It's like we've come out of a terrible dark stormy time into a peaceful harbor. The winds are calm, the birds are singing, and we are rejoicing. Oh yeah, and the sun is definitely shining.
I'm not sure anything has changed. If school is different or easier than before. Not only has school not been overwhelming so far but we might get to do a Bible class together. When Chris suggested we both could do the class I was so caught off guard. I never would even have asked. In fact I was not thinking of going myself. I don't know how to explain my feeling right now. It's like I've been holding my breath under water for as long as I can remember and now some water has drained and I'm sucking in deep breaths of fresh air and feeling giddy inside with new possibilities.
Has anything concrete actually changed? Is school easier or is God's favor allowing us to breath under water? I know the answer. God is giving us rest. As surely as I know anything, I know this. I feel it in my bones. I stopped fighting the water. Into my lungs it came, rushing in to kill me. To take me out of the battle. But I surrendered the fight. What I thought was death was instead a river of peace.
Remember the non-Christmas version of the song from Love Actually? I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes, love is all around me, and so the feeling grows. That's me right now. That's the favor of God. It doesn't come free. Oh bits of it might here and there but those are teasers. You have to move to get it all. I had to embrace this time in life.
It's like it's all just a state of mind. But God does so much more than just change state of mind. He changes everything. He frees finances, loosens shackles of time. Kindles love anew and makes hope grow. He comes in response to prayer or faith in one specific area and moves in every area. He loves. The enemy gets fifty shades of grey but God gets every color, His love is vast.
I beg you to look for God's blessing. As I have looked for it I have found more. As I recognized it and thanked God for it then more appeared. It's not a prosperity gospel by any means. What it is is a God who gives generously to those who give themselves to Him. And as you give to Him, He is able to give of you to others. So then the favor of God really is not for me but for you. I can encourage you as I am encouraged. And love as loved and give as given and so on. All for the glory of God.
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Regrets?
I feel so full. Just finished reading "Wild". I'd watched the movie first and I'd say they are equal, although the movie is graphic in a way letters on a page simply cannot be. SPOILERS AHEAD! This woman, Cheryl Strayed, has done little remarkable in her life except to hike the Pacific Crest Trail (a monumental task), yet her story reaches in and touches something so deep and intimate within myself.
Well she did something else too. She wrote about it. She wrote about it and then a movie was made about it.
We've been told in many ways how love hurts. This young girl, young woman, experienced a love from her mother that shaped her, formed her. Left her full yet always able to receive more. This love never hurt her. But as her mom got sick, she began to hurt like never before. With her moms death now a part of history, her life began to unravel. She'd had it all. An amazing mom, a loving step-father, brother and sister both close. But now that all unraveled and her life flew off the rails.
As we often do when we hurt we seek to feel even more pain. To simply feel anything. So she hurt herself. With men, with drugs, eventually pushing away the husband who loved and adored her. Somehow I resonate so deeply with that desire to destroy myself. Why? Geez, who knows. Just part of my inner demons I guess. But what forever is ringing in my mind of her story is not the pain. It is at the end of the movie when she says she regrets nothing. Everything she did brought her to where she is now. Every piece was needed. No regrets! How would that change our lives if we had no regrets? I think that's worth a second. How would that change your life if you had no regrets? Think about it. Really think about it.
Have you ever imagined being able to go back in time? A time travel device of some sort allowing you to fix mistakes of the past. I do this. What if stopped myself from the disaster of my first marriage? Then my oldest son would not be. What if I had tried harder with that certain girl? Maybe just maybe we'd have made a life together. Then my kids and Chris would not be. Every positive change and every tragedy avoided would rob me of what I have now. I have yet to come up with any thing I'd be willing to change. When I begin to regret things I run through this time machine scenario once again and remind myself how good I have it. I have it good, beyond good. I have it great!
Well she did something else too. She wrote about it. She wrote about it and then a movie was made about it.
We've been told in many ways how love hurts. This young girl, young woman, experienced a love from her mother that shaped her, formed her. Left her full yet always able to receive more. This love never hurt her. But as her mom got sick, she began to hurt like never before. With her moms death now a part of history, her life began to unravel. She'd had it all. An amazing mom, a loving step-father, brother and sister both close. But now that all unraveled and her life flew off the rails.
As we often do when we hurt we seek to feel even more pain. To simply feel anything. So she hurt herself. With men, with drugs, eventually pushing away the husband who loved and adored her. Somehow I resonate so deeply with that desire to destroy myself. Why? Geez, who knows. Just part of my inner demons I guess. But what forever is ringing in my mind of her story is not the pain. It is at the end of the movie when she says she regrets nothing. Everything she did brought her to where she is now. Every piece was needed. No regrets! How would that change our lives if we had no regrets? I think that's worth a second. How would that change your life if you had no regrets? Think about it. Really think about it.
Have you ever imagined being able to go back in time? A time travel device of some sort allowing you to fix mistakes of the past. I do this. What if stopped myself from the disaster of my first marriage? Then my oldest son would not be. What if I had tried harder with that certain girl? Maybe just maybe we'd have made a life together. Then my kids and Chris would not be. Every positive change and every tragedy avoided would rob me of what I have now. I have yet to come up with any thing I'd be willing to change. When I begin to regret things I run through this time machine scenario once again and remind myself how good I have it. I have it good, beyond good. I have it great!
Friday, January 15, 2016
To be continued.......
For some time now a fire has been burning in my heart. A fire to see people healed. To witness exponential growth followed by exponential growth.
I have experienced church in a intimate, round the campfire with a guitar way, boxes of tissue empty as our souls become exposed. Fear pushed away as a new bravery takes hold. An intimacy with those around me that has left my soul aching for more. I have experienced this. God is preparing me to bring others to this kind of place.
I have long searched for a location. Kind of a silent dreaming of what might be. A few months ago, maybe more, the idea of using my shop as a meeting place became a prospect. God planted a seed I hadn't considered before. There are obstacles of course, some of which I have yet to overcome. So being the man of faith I am I simply told God; if you want this to happen you're gonna have to make it happen. You know that we have no ability financially to do these things.
So that was kinda my fleece. If God put into place the heat and insulation for the shop and needed repairs in the house bathroom then I would know for sure I was hearing God and not my own idea. Shortly after this someone I knew offered to pay for everything and help to get it done. Suffice to say I was not expecting so quick an answer from God. Of course it isn't that simple. The money he was getting fell through soon after. He is helping as he can though.
For those that don't know I collect old bmx bikes, mostly from the 80s. They hang in the rafters of the shop and a few elsewhere. Two of these are complete bikes I've had for maybe 17 or 18 years ish. They just hang out like time capsules of my formative years. When I sell a bike the money is sequestered away and used only for more bike stuff. Recently though I sold the 85 Hutch and bought six bundles of r21 insulation for the shop ceiling. I realized that I must be willing to sacrifice as well. God will do His part but I must do mine. About a month later the other bike sold. I had planned to do more insulating with this money, but.......as I sat listening to some missionaries speak God asked me to give that money. The question God asked was, do you trust me? Will you give this money away and trust that I will provide? I have not as of yet because Chris needed to understand why first. If I buy more bike parts no big deal, but if I donate the money that's kind of an out of left field kind of thing and explaining to her what I'm doing is part of the necessary good communication in our marriage as well as making her a part of what is happening. I'm working on my run on sentences but I still have to use one here or there. You're welcome. So we are almost caught up in the story, almost. I know God usually provides in a way that I can't see ahead. Something off the radar. I strained to see how He might do it this time. Two days after being asked to give this $275 up a person asked if I would list their small motorhome for sale online as they don't know how to and they would give me 15% of sale. I didn't need to be bribed to do this but whatever. Whether I get paid from this or not, it's more about God showing off. Like, here's your proof kid. Here's your fleece. Anyways, the listed price is $2000 and 15% is $300 so after negotiating with buyer it would be about the same as bike sale. God is really good at showing off.
Like I said in the title, this is to be continued. Writing this, putting this out in the public sphere, is a bigger leap of faith than the money. I don't normally tell people things until they are concrete. I also don't have a great track record of follow thru. Great at starting but after that not so much.
It's easy to know God is speaking and follow that in my own life. Or to say later, see, God spoke and I obeyed and look what happened. Or, I think God is leading me in that way. Whether or not a thing happens in my personal life there is no one but me to look close enough and ask did I really hear God and does the result show that? No one outside my family nucleus I should say. I have been afraid to share my dream because what will people say if it doesn't work out? If it doesn't happen? So now you know. Now you have permission and hopefully you will follow up. Or hopefully you won't have to. That the result will speak for itself.
I welcome you to pray for this. To pray for us. This is not an overnight thing. Much water will have passed under the bridge before the bridge is complete. Chris has a good chunk of school left and this is all consuming. There is much that needs to happen on many fronts. It will take time.
I am not a pastor. I have no post high school education in religious stuff or seminary training. I do have the education that God has given me through life. I will need to keep growing. I will need good people around me. I will need to focus on God first, keep myself well fed just as I need to right now. I don't plan to replace the church that anyone is attending. What I envision is a place of intimacy. A place where people can experience change, can find the spiritual growth that has eluded them so far. Let go and let God. I'd heard this much of my life but didn't know how it happened. This can be that place where people experience that. Maybe for the first time in their life.
Hopefully more facilitator than leader. Teach to fish rather than giving out fish. Then people should be able to take this and do it themselves. Anyways, that's what I see now and things never turn out as pictured so I guess we'll see what happens. Thanks for taking a peek in to my story.
I have experienced church in a intimate, round the campfire with a guitar way, boxes of tissue empty as our souls become exposed. Fear pushed away as a new bravery takes hold. An intimacy with those around me that has left my soul aching for more. I have experienced this. God is preparing me to bring others to this kind of place.
I have long searched for a location. Kind of a silent dreaming of what might be. A few months ago, maybe more, the idea of using my shop as a meeting place became a prospect. God planted a seed I hadn't considered before. There are obstacles of course, some of which I have yet to overcome. So being the man of faith I am I simply told God; if you want this to happen you're gonna have to make it happen. You know that we have no ability financially to do these things.
So that was kinda my fleece. If God put into place the heat and insulation for the shop and needed repairs in the house bathroom then I would know for sure I was hearing God and not my own idea. Shortly after this someone I knew offered to pay for everything and help to get it done. Suffice to say I was not expecting so quick an answer from God. Of course it isn't that simple. The money he was getting fell through soon after. He is helping as he can though.
For those that don't know I collect old bmx bikes, mostly from the 80s. They hang in the rafters of the shop and a few elsewhere. Two of these are complete bikes I've had for maybe 17 or 18 years ish. They just hang out like time capsules of my formative years. When I sell a bike the money is sequestered away and used only for more bike stuff. Recently though I sold the 85 Hutch and bought six bundles of r21 insulation for the shop ceiling. I realized that I must be willing to sacrifice as well. God will do His part but I must do mine. About a month later the other bike sold. I had planned to do more insulating with this money, but.......as I sat listening to some missionaries speak God asked me to give that money. The question God asked was, do you trust me? Will you give this money away and trust that I will provide? I have not as of yet because Chris needed to understand why first. If I buy more bike parts no big deal, but if I donate the money that's kind of an out of left field kind of thing and explaining to her what I'm doing is part of the necessary good communication in our marriage as well as making her a part of what is happening. I'm working on my run on sentences but I still have to use one here or there. You're welcome. So we are almost caught up in the story, almost. I know God usually provides in a way that I can't see ahead. Something off the radar. I strained to see how He might do it this time. Two days after being asked to give this $275 up a person asked if I would list their small motorhome for sale online as they don't know how to and they would give me 15% of sale. I didn't need to be bribed to do this but whatever. Whether I get paid from this or not, it's more about God showing off. Like, here's your proof kid. Here's your fleece. Anyways, the listed price is $2000 and 15% is $300 so after negotiating with buyer it would be about the same as bike sale. God is really good at showing off.
Like I said in the title, this is to be continued. Writing this, putting this out in the public sphere, is a bigger leap of faith than the money. I don't normally tell people things until they are concrete. I also don't have a great track record of follow thru. Great at starting but after that not so much.
It's easy to know God is speaking and follow that in my own life. Or to say later, see, God spoke and I obeyed and look what happened. Or, I think God is leading me in that way. Whether or not a thing happens in my personal life there is no one but me to look close enough and ask did I really hear God and does the result show that? No one outside my family nucleus I should say. I have been afraid to share my dream because what will people say if it doesn't work out? If it doesn't happen? So now you know. Now you have permission and hopefully you will follow up. Or hopefully you won't have to. That the result will speak for itself.
I welcome you to pray for this. To pray for us. This is not an overnight thing. Much water will have passed under the bridge before the bridge is complete. Chris has a good chunk of school left and this is all consuming. There is much that needs to happen on many fronts. It will take time.
I am not a pastor. I have no post high school education in religious stuff or seminary training. I do have the education that God has given me through life. I will need to keep growing. I will need good people around me. I will need to focus on God first, keep myself well fed just as I need to right now. I don't plan to replace the church that anyone is attending. What I envision is a place of intimacy. A place where people can experience change, can find the spiritual growth that has eluded them so far. Let go and let God. I'd heard this much of my life but didn't know how it happened. This can be that place where people experience that. Maybe for the first time in their life.
Hopefully more facilitator than leader. Teach to fish rather than giving out fish. Then people should be able to take this and do it themselves. Anyways, that's what I see now and things never turn out as pictured so I guess we'll see what happens. Thanks for taking a peek in to my story.
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