Thursday, December 15, 2011

Blog about love

Kind of a misleading title because i'm not really writing about love.  So Leia i think it was posted a link to a blog this guy has about love.  He's a single, Godly man, who desperately desires companionship.  This was some of the hardest stuff i've ever read.  I've been married for 17 years and think i'm even more detached from my feelings during singlehood than my childhood.  It really broke my heart seeing the longing of his heart and then realizing that most of our youth staff live with this every day.  We live in two opposing worlds.  I struggle to mesh my wife's needs, my 3 kids' needs and the calling God has put in my dna.  I'm not saying they oppose each other but Chris is not necessarily in the same place i am and i am being led more and more into a sacrificial life that she must be willing to go on her own volition.  Don't get me wrong.  God placed us together for a reason, many, many reasons so these things will come when the time is right.  My friends and fellow saints who are single have a much different pull on their lives.  Having this constant desire for love and intimacy and companionship constantly at war in their hearts and minds with their devotion to God is a very hard thing.  Something i would not voluntarily trade for.  Ever.  These people are the most wonderful, Godly people i could ever wish to be around and i hate to see them sad (i'm not by any means saying they are sad all the time but i'd guess they all have their moments) but God has their best in mind always.  He wants to bless and love on them as much as they can handle but he has a divine method to his madness and their greatest happiness is following his plan.  From before the foundations of the earth He designed a wonderful mate for each of them.  The perfect spouse if you will.  I know that i have mine, not because of anything i did but because He divinely intervened.  I made my choice and was married for 6 weeks.  God made my choice and been married for 17 years.  Not even gonna argue with him on that one.

God, please give these young people (see, even our leaders are young people to me), a vision of what you want them to be.  Make them into the perfect spouse for their perfect spouse.  And just fill their hearts to overflowing that they wouldn't be so sorrowful with longing for love that they don't take time to fill up on you.  God, you have plans so awesome for them that they couldn't write the story if they had a million years.  Thank you for loving all the little insignificant us's so much that you invest in our every moment.  May we all chase after you to fill the longing in our hearts and as we fill may you create more longing that we can never get enough of you.  You, God, are our filling station.  The only thing of value that we can put in.  Thank you for being you and for loving me.

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