God has blessed my family with grace. I am more in love with my wife than ever before.
Our 9-1/2 hour trip to Astoria that never made it was such an awesome time. Once upon a time we were so spontaneous. We would jump in the car and go. To the coast, to bend. We'd sleep in the car or on the beach or crash late at night in a campground.
So with four kids, 2, 9,11,&13, we decided spur of the Chris' brainstorm in the shower moment to head to Astoria 3hrs away and get some pictures with water for her photography class. Because of course there's no closer water. we jumped in the boat (93 Caprice wagon) and headed out bright and early at noon. After getting lunch and coffee we were off.
Being that both of us are gifted by God with great memory, we took 22 over and then cut up to Hebo and then to Tillamook. Once off of 22 the road cut back and forth with sharp corners and it's then we remembered this is where Josh got sick and barfed last time. We had decided then that we wouldn't take that route anymore. And we won't until the next time. Not wanting another incident, and no stores in sight, we kept our mouths shut and hoped for the best. Almost to Hebo, Ashtin and Tony let us know they were feeling woozy, then Josh chimed in to. We had them open their windows for fresh air, our savior for now but soon our hated enemy. Tillamook smelled like a sewage plant gone wrong. Having no sense of smell (maybe no sense at all) I was very sympathetic to their plight.
Cape Meares is a lighthouse outside of Tillamook with incredible views, picturesque sand,sea, sun, and trees. I think this was our fourth visit here and although I love Astoria, this was where we needed to be. Kids had their tablets so we all took pictures. Kind of fun to compare later. We laughed and played. No pressures no stress. I've never felt freer to laugh and enjoy our kids and ourselves.
I can't help but think how our family has grown closer, more tight knit as we have grown closer to God. Looking back it seems so clear. To me the parallel is unmistakeable.
Chris is in school a lot. Between work and school and homework she is a shadow of her former self. Yet here we are. Middle of her schooling, middle of Tony's asthma attack, and we are happy. More in love than ever. I would love to take credit for our happiness in the storm. Anyone who really knows me knows that I am naturally destructive. Corrosive to those closest to me. Were it not for the grace of God we would be a mess. I would be angry. Snip at the little things. Look for a fight. Where's mine, huh? When do I get what I deserve? When do I get to do what I want? When's the last time I got to build something? When do I get to be myself again?
By the grace of God though I want with all I am for Chris to be successful. I push her out the door. I know she wants more than anything to stop, to stay right here, to melt her me and kids together to never part. Not forever of course. That would be lunacy. But in this time, in this place, your part, your place, is to be out there. To do what you have to do for yourself. And for us. You make me so proud.
I am so blessed. Not because I have money or because God has given me everything I 'need'. I am blessed because I know the creator of the universe. Because He called me, because I called to Him. Because He loves me He gives me the desires of my heart. Because the desires of my heart are after His heart I get His best. Because He gives me the ability to follow when every part of me wants to run my own way. Because He takes the best of me and makes it better. Because He takes the worst of me and makes it better. I am living the dream.
One day I will step into the reality.
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