Have you ever looked at a rainbow and thought, God is down right here, right now? Gen 9:14-16 14 Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, 15 I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. 16 Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on earth.
The 'I' is God. Funny how He speaks of himself in the third person in vs. 16. The rainbow is like God's post-it note to himself. Oh yeah, do not destroy earth by water. Again. Check. No water apocalypse. Just found this amusing.
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Thursday, May 21, 2015
seeking joy in these times of struggle.
Grappling with the idea of blessings. More specifically, how do I thank God and praise God for the blessing of my wife earning her bachelors degree while working full time? I feel like a single parent most of the time. The kids are frustrated/angry that their mom is seldom around. Mom feels guilty for not being around for me or the kids.
This whole thing has flown in the face of my theology. My relationship with God is first (center). Next is family (immediate close family), especially those under my roof. Next would be everyone else to varying degrees. When so little time is available for intimate family moments then how can that be glorifying to God in the ways it should be?
But, (another paragraph started with but, har, har, har) this is. What I mean is it is what it is. I can rail against it and whine for all my super justified reasons, or I can submit to what is, give thanks to God, and probably find some joy in the situation. I could change my perspective by looking at some of the terrible things we could be dealing with but it seems like that would be saying there can be no joy facing those things. I know that's just not right.
So today is another new day. I don't know what is so blessed about this time we are in, but I thank you Lord for this time. For these challenges, for these struggles, for all the headaches and back aches and lonely times, God I give you glory.
Seek and ye shall find, ask and ye shall receive, knock and the door shall be opened unto you. I think that about says it all. That's Matthew 7:7, out of Jethro's memory version.
This whole thing has flown in the face of my theology. My relationship with God is first (center). Next is family (immediate close family), especially those under my roof. Next would be everyone else to varying degrees. When so little time is available for intimate family moments then how can that be glorifying to God in the ways it should be?
But, (another paragraph started with but, har, har, har) this is. What I mean is it is what it is. I can rail against it and whine for all my super justified reasons, or I can submit to what is, give thanks to God, and probably find some joy in the situation. I could change my perspective by looking at some of the terrible things we could be dealing with but it seems like that would be saying there can be no joy facing those things. I know that's just not right.
So today is another new day. I don't know what is so blessed about this time we are in, but I thank you Lord for this time. For these challenges, for these struggles, for all the headaches and back aches and lonely times, God I give you glory.
Seek and ye shall find, ask and ye shall receive, knock and the door shall be opened unto you. I think that about says it all. That's Matthew 7:7, out of Jethro's memory version.
Sunday, May 17, 2015
In giving I receive
One day during worship at church I just wasn't feeling it. So I went to the source. God, I'm just not feeling it today. The answer was swift and sure. Worship me.
Worship is never for me. Worship is the feeling or expression of reverence and adoration for God. No part of that is for me. So how is it we (I) go into times of worship for what we (I) receive? God owes us nothing. He's already given us everything. And then I go to worship Him expecting to be filled up myself. What kind of selfish American Christianity is this? Yet God is so gracious that He does give to me. I worship Him and I leave feeling filled and refreshed. No other god does this. As if any other gods are actually gods.
So once again God reminded me of the order of things. That I am here to worship Him and He alone. Not because He demands it but because He is worthy. And He IS worthy.
Worship is never for me. Worship is the feeling or expression of reverence and adoration for God. No part of that is for me. So how is it we (I) go into times of worship for what we (I) receive? God owes us nothing. He's already given us everything. And then I go to worship Him expecting to be filled up myself. What kind of selfish American Christianity is this? Yet God is so gracious that He does give to me. I worship Him and I leave feeling filled and refreshed. No other god does this. As if any other gods are actually gods.
So once again God reminded me of the order of things. That I am here to worship Him and He alone. Not because He demands it but because He is worthy. And He IS worthy.
I am more important to God than my disobedience
I didn't go to church for about 10 years. Now I haven't analyzed dates and times, could be 8 or 12 years but quite a long time in any case.
My wife and I had met at the youth club at the church or maybe at the youth group, it's all the same really. I was four years older than her. Still am I think. She was in her senior year and I was a guy who had dropped out of college after a tumultuous marriage and divorce, and was volunteering with the youth group. We had nothing in common but she was a tender ear and I was a broken soul who needed to talk.
We got married about the same time the youth pastor left, the head pastor changed, and all the connection we had to the church kinda evaporated. I'm oversimplifying and mashing some events together but eventually we ended up in no man's land. Somehow we just drifted off by ourselves with no one there to grab the rope and pull us back.
I think I've always been good at religion. Justice and order and rules make me feel safe. Everything has its place. Up to this point in life relationship was fairly foreign to me. We coexisted peacefully at home in my growing up years most of the time, but I wouldn't describe it as warm and loving. Relationship with God was just as alien a concept. 20 plus years I've been in church to this point and my view of God is very legalistic.
So now I'm in this desert. I've walked away from God. Failed so many times that the only thing left to do is quit. Maybe this was the sane decision. My life so far running the circle round growing then failing, growing and failing, was killing me. So I took the off ramp. This isn't the right answer but what is?
This was a temporary fix. A temporary hiatus that went on year after year. What else could I do? I can't find success following God, and I can't stand to fail again. I have no recourse except to quit. And quit I did. I didn't totally keep this to myself though. I began to talk to God. Eventually I made an impossible deal with God. I will come back to you when I know for sure it's a forever deal. Only if I know one hundred percent that there is no possibility of failure will I come back.
Over and over again the pangs of guilt would hit. Or, what if I die before I come back? Or the rapture? Or??? I knew the agreement I had made with God was something He could never fulfill. I knew it was impossible, yet what else could I do?
Though I lived thru it I'm not sure how I ended up coming to God. There was a void in my life that was eating me alive. And eat it did. Til there was almost no life left. There is a part of me that cannot live apart from Christ. Maybe not a part but the whole. But I didn't know. Maybe I was always in His hands but I didn't know it. Maybe I had to go through so much darkness to know I couldn't live without the light. Whatever the case I learned something priceless.
I learned relationship with Christ. In my hundreds and hundreds of talks with God relationship was born. Those talks were so honest. There was no religious mumbo-jumbo. I would tell Him I wasn't ready yet. He would sometimes reply it's ok. I couldn't accept that, I was in the wrong. Yet God said it was ok. So not only was relationship born but my religion was destroyed. This was the God of love. I was more important to Him than my disobedience.
He is no teacher standing in front of a class room expounding the virtues of being Christian. He knows me. Knows where I've been and where I'm going. In the middle of my disobedience He stepped in and showed me what a lifetime of church never could.
This is the God I serve. This is the God who continues to destroy all my notions of who He is. The more I come to know God the more I understand how little I know of Him.
So how has He affected your life? What ways has He worked that maybe even now you are struggling to wrap your head around? If you are truly honest do your experiences with God match up with the religion you have been taught? Do they exceed or have you been taught very well? Though we may see God many different ways, His character is perfectly spelled out in the love verses of I Corinthians 13.
Replacing the word love with God, because I John 1:8 says God is love, first Corinthians 13 verses 4-10 say: God is patient, God is kind. God does not envy, God does not boast, God is not self seeking, God is not easily angered, God keeps no record of wrongs. God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. God always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. God never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
This is an amazing God!
My wife and I had met at the youth club at the church or maybe at the youth group, it's all the same really. I was four years older than her. Still am I think. She was in her senior year and I was a guy who had dropped out of college after a tumultuous marriage and divorce, and was volunteering with the youth group. We had nothing in common but she was a tender ear and I was a broken soul who needed to talk.
We got married about the same time the youth pastor left, the head pastor changed, and all the connection we had to the church kinda evaporated. I'm oversimplifying and mashing some events together but eventually we ended up in no man's land. Somehow we just drifted off by ourselves with no one there to grab the rope and pull us back.
I think I've always been good at religion. Justice and order and rules make me feel safe. Everything has its place. Up to this point in life relationship was fairly foreign to me. We coexisted peacefully at home in my growing up years most of the time, but I wouldn't describe it as warm and loving. Relationship with God was just as alien a concept. 20 plus years I've been in church to this point and my view of God is very legalistic.
So now I'm in this desert. I've walked away from God. Failed so many times that the only thing left to do is quit. Maybe this was the sane decision. My life so far running the circle round growing then failing, growing and failing, was killing me. So I took the off ramp. This isn't the right answer but what is?
This was a temporary fix. A temporary hiatus that went on year after year. What else could I do? I can't find success following God, and I can't stand to fail again. I have no recourse except to quit. And quit I did. I didn't totally keep this to myself though. I began to talk to God. Eventually I made an impossible deal with God. I will come back to you when I know for sure it's a forever deal. Only if I know one hundred percent that there is no possibility of failure will I come back.
Over and over again the pangs of guilt would hit. Or, what if I die before I come back? Or the rapture? Or??? I knew the agreement I had made with God was something He could never fulfill. I knew it was impossible, yet what else could I do?
Though I lived thru it I'm not sure how I ended up coming to God. There was a void in my life that was eating me alive. And eat it did. Til there was almost no life left. There is a part of me that cannot live apart from Christ. Maybe not a part but the whole. But I didn't know. Maybe I was always in His hands but I didn't know it. Maybe I had to go through so much darkness to know I couldn't live without the light. Whatever the case I learned something priceless.
I learned relationship with Christ. In my hundreds and hundreds of talks with God relationship was born. Those talks were so honest. There was no religious mumbo-jumbo. I would tell Him I wasn't ready yet. He would sometimes reply it's ok. I couldn't accept that, I was in the wrong. Yet God said it was ok. So not only was relationship born but my religion was destroyed. This was the God of love. I was more important to Him than my disobedience.
He is no teacher standing in front of a class room expounding the virtues of being Christian. He knows me. Knows where I've been and where I'm going. In the middle of my disobedience He stepped in and showed me what a lifetime of church never could.
This is the God I serve. This is the God who continues to destroy all my notions of who He is. The more I come to know God the more I understand how little I know of Him.
So how has He affected your life? What ways has He worked that maybe even now you are struggling to wrap your head around? If you are truly honest do your experiences with God match up with the religion you have been taught? Do they exceed or have you been taught very well? Though we may see God many different ways, His character is perfectly spelled out in the love verses of I Corinthians 13.
Replacing the word love with God, because I John 1:8 says God is love, first Corinthians 13 verses 4-10 say: God is patient, God is kind. God does not envy, God does not boast, God is not self seeking, God is not easily angered, God keeps no record of wrongs. God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. God always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. God never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
This is an amazing God!
Saturday, May 2, 2015
Inspired by God thru man.
I am being blessed over and over by a man that God poured his spirit into and who in turn poured his spirit into song. He has been dead for years now but God is continuing to touch me through his music.
How amazing is that that the same spirit who inspired this man is inspiring me day to day? It hasn't diminished or gone away but is the same undiluted full strength spirit that drew Rich Mullins into a life of words put to music.
This isn't about sainthood. While I've no doubt he received his reward, what I'm looking at is the Holy Spirit. It is this spirit that comes into us when we invite Jesus in, but we receive so much more than just a helper or a teacher. As we join in this struggle between the darkness and the light God comes into every part of us. Our physicalness, sex and health and aches and pains and weight gain and loss. Our mind and heart, which wage war together and against each other. To believe the insanity of God which is the only logical answer. To suffer the pain of loss and rejection, the surrealness of love and orgasm and new life handed to us in the birthing center. In all of this the spirit of God is part and present.
We live and we die. The physical body we possess dies and decays, but the spirit within us lives on. It lives on in our art and our music, through our children.
I have been inspired by a man with many demons. A man haunted by a father wound he could never escape. A man who found the love of his life, his one true love, and though he loved her more than life it was not to be. He fought his demons til death and though it would seem his life is a failure it was not. This man loved God. He gave all he had to serve God, to serve others. These demons did not have the last word. Every day he fought to find God, to know God, to find his purpose and identity in God. Through his pain and heartbreak God created immense beauty. He poured out his brokenness to the Creator and the Creator took that and mixed it in with the gifts planted deep within and out poured music that seems to touch the heart of God. It is this music which touches me so deeply. The broken pieces of his life mixed with the Spirit of God comes out of my speakers and seeps into my soul, it penetrates the broken places deep inside with God's healing Spirit.
This is the undeniable piece of God that we must experience and which cannot be denied. If not experienced we lose out here and now and possibly in eternity. It is this that draws others to us. It is this that witnesses invisibly to the invisible. And witness we will. For God or for Satan.
Every bit of life is spiritual. Every little bit. Though this life and world seem unspiritual, they are every bit as such as heaven is. We all are blind to it to differing degrees. Knowing that all is spiritual, if the spirit of God is not coming through my music or art or work or family than what spirit is? That may be a scary question but it shouldn't be. There will be parts of our lives that do not exude Christ. This is natural. In fact, if it bothers you that something in your life does not exhibit Christ, that could very well be the Holy Spirit wanting to work there. You and I will never bring every part into submission with Christ. Not this side of eternity. But I should look more like Christ than I did 5 years ago.
Some of us will leave behind very visible evidence of God within us. Art or music or books or teaching that will continue to grow the spirits of others long after we are gone. But most of us I suppose will not. Not to the naked eye or ear. But to those we have inspired..... To those we have passed on the tenets of God to, whose spirits have grown because we dared to grow ourselves, to them we leave our legacy. A legacy that is living and life.
It is the battles that Rich fought which have created so much food for my soul. I pray that my wars would lead others into victories of their own. That beauty from pain would be not mine alone, but others would glean from my victories and defeats.
If ever you have questions of me please ask. How I got through something or why I did something so stupid or if you need prayer. I know this is a very impersonal interface but we can still use it for God's glory. Thank you, Jethro.
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