How amazing is that that the same spirit who inspired this man is inspiring me day to day? It hasn't diminished or gone away but is the same undiluted full strength spirit that drew Rich Mullins into a life of words put to music.
This isn't about sainthood. While I've no doubt he received his reward, what I'm looking at is the Holy Spirit. It is this spirit that comes into us when we invite Jesus in, but we receive so much more than just a helper or a teacher. As we join in this struggle between the darkness and the light God comes into every part of us. Our physicalness, sex and health and aches and pains and weight gain and loss. Our mind and heart, which wage war together and against each other. To believe the insanity of God which is the only logical answer. To suffer the pain of loss and rejection, the surrealness of love and orgasm and new life handed to us in the birthing center. In all of this the spirit of God is part and present.
We live and we die. The physical body we possess dies and decays, but the spirit within us lives on. It lives on in our art and our music, through our children.
I have been inspired by a man with many demons. A man haunted by a father wound he could never escape. A man who found the love of his life, his one true love, and though he loved her more than life it was not to be. He fought his demons til death and though it would seem his life is a failure it was not. This man loved God. He gave all he had to serve God, to serve others. These demons did not have the last word. Every day he fought to find God, to know God, to find his purpose and identity in God. Through his pain and heartbreak God created immense beauty. He poured out his brokenness to the Creator and the Creator took that and mixed it in with the gifts planted deep within and out poured music that seems to touch the heart of God. It is this music which touches me so deeply. The broken pieces of his life mixed with the Spirit of God comes out of my speakers and seeps into my soul, it penetrates the broken places deep inside with God's healing Spirit.
This is the undeniable piece of God that we must experience and which cannot be denied. If not experienced we lose out here and now and possibly in eternity. It is this that draws others to us. It is this that witnesses invisibly to the invisible. And witness we will. For God or for Satan.
Every bit of life is spiritual. Every little bit. Though this life and world seem unspiritual, they are every bit as such as heaven is. We all are blind to it to differing degrees. Knowing that all is spiritual, if the spirit of God is not coming through my music or art or work or family than what spirit is? That may be a scary question but it shouldn't be. There will be parts of our lives that do not exude Christ. This is natural. In fact, if it bothers you that something in your life does not exhibit Christ, that could very well be the Holy Spirit wanting to work there. You and I will never bring every part into submission with Christ. Not this side of eternity. But I should look more like Christ than I did 5 years ago.
Some of us will leave behind very visible evidence of God within us. Art or music or books or teaching that will continue to grow the spirits of others long after we are gone. But most of us I suppose will not. Not to the naked eye or ear. But to those we have inspired..... To those we have passed on the tenets of God to, whose spirits have grown because we dared to grow ourselves, to them we leave our legacy. A legacy that is living and life.
It is the battles that Rich fought which have created so much food for my soul. I pray that my wars would lead others into victories of their own. That beauty from pain would be not mine alone, but others would glean from my victories and defeats.
If ever you have questions of me please ask. How I got through something or why I did something so stupid or if you need prayer. I know this is a very impersonal interface but we can still use it for God's glory. Thank you, Jethro.
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